Embracing scars (COMPLETED)

29. End it

Kumunot ang noo nito. His eyes full of concern ... and fear. Umayos siya ng upo.

"I am mad at you, Cassandra. But I wasn't implying that I want to break up with you."

"Then I am. Ako. Ayoko na, South."

"No, we're not breaking up, Cassandra." He said in a firm voice

"Nakakapagod na South," Tiningnan ko siya. "Hindi ka ba napapagod? Let's just break up." Tears, started forming. I bit my lower lip to prevent it from trembling.

I'm sorry, but I need to do this. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

"That's not how relationships supposedly work. It's not only your decision so no, I'm not breaking up with you." His face became even more stoic when he saw how serious I am.

"Please, South. Ayoko na," This is for your own good. Believe me. Please...

Please... let me go. Hanggang kaya ko pa. I don't think I will still have this courage after this day passes by. Please, South.

Tumayo siya at umupo sa gilid ng kama ko. "I will never let go of you," he held my hand.

The tears I was trying to hold back burst like bubbles. Bakit ang hirap? I tried to cover my face but he held both of my hands.

"B-bakit ... ba ang h-hirap mong... pakawalan?" I sobbed

Hindi ko kaya.

I looked at him pleadingly. "Please ...please ---let me go.. K-kasi... hindi ko magawa. P-pleasee..."

"I love you ... I hope that's enough.." he whispered and closed his eyes

And I love you, too. That's why I'm doing this, South. Di bale na kung ako ang masaktan.

"A-ayoko na... pagod na ako.." sambit ko.

He sighed. His hold was still steady and firm.

"Tell me the reason why you want to break up with me," his voice was deep and heavy.

"Pagod na ako. Ayoko na... sawang-sawa na ako.."

I am toxic, South. I will just pull you down. And I don't want that to happen. Your love for me is too dangerous. There are far more important things than I am. I am not worth it. I don't deserve your love. And I don't think I will ever deserve it.

"Shhhh, stop crying, babe.. please..." He wiped away my tears. I shook my head.

Bakit ba hindi niya maintindihan?!

"Ayoko na sabi! Ayoko na!" sigaw ko

"You are just stressed..lets talk when you're already calm, alright?"

"No. I told you. I want to break up!"

"I can give you space.. but I will never break up with you," he said in a soft tone

"Cassandra, looked at me."

I just looked away and tried to steady my breathing. Tears still won't stop falling from my eyes.

"Cassandra," He cupped my face with his other hand still holding me. So I had no choice but to look at his deep brown eyes.

"I love you. I know you are having a hard time these past few months. I know it wasn't easy ----"

"Kaya nga! Ayoko na sabi! Andami ko ng problema! Ayokong madagdagan pa!"

"I promised, I won't be a burden to you,"

But I am, to you.

"Wala naman tayong problema 'di ba? Okay naman tayo? You don't need to break up with me. If you feel so suffocated, I'll let you breathe. I'll give you time, babe.."