Our Deal

Chapter 39: Let me go

"Good morning!" I told Seb as I went down the stairs and found him eating a bowl of cereal.

 "Morning," He smiled as he wolfed down his plate.

I decided to serve myself cereal as well, so I walked up to the cabinet. As I reached up to grab a bowl, my shirt rose a little. I immediately grew worried that Seb might see my healing ribs.

What would he say? Would he scold me? Would he want to know what happened? A million questions rushed through my mind in a split second. 

"What happened to you?" He asked knowingly. 

"What do you mean?" I acted unaware. 

"You're limping, you have bruises, and you look beat, quite honestly." He stated matter of factly.

 "I, uh... prefer not to get into it," I tried to dodge. 

"If you don't wanna tell me, fine; just be careful," He warned. 

"Believe it or not, I can take care of myself. I have been for the past few months," I argued.

 "That's not gonna stop me worrying about you; I still am your older brother," He reasoned.

 "I know, um..." I hesitated. "I was in an accident. There's a girl that's obsessed with Alex. She found out we were dating, and she sent her people to beat me up. I had to keep cover and avoid raising questions, so I didn't defend myself. I was out for about two weeks. Alex helped me through all of that; he took care of me. I was bedridden for some time, and I had to learn how to walk again. I had some internal bleeding as well, so I had surgery for it." I stated as if he were fishing the answers out of me. 

"I want names," Seb's face hardened as his eyes focused on me. 

"Seb, no. We already took care of it. Alex gave them the beat-up of a lifetime and filed a report for assault. That's enough, more than enough." I tried to calm him down. My brother's wrath was like a wildfire; once ignited, there was no calling it back.

"I should've found you a lot sooner. I regret it, leaving you with her." He said as he paced up and down the kitchen area. 

"Well, she is our mother," I debated. 

"Doesn't make her any less irresponsible. Abandoning her responsibilities for the sake of a marriage that's been over and done for years." He ranted frustratedly and fairly. In any case, our parents were not what would classify as stellar. 

"I despise him as much as anyone of us, but I can't blame mum for following her heart." I could not judge her as much as I wanted to. 

"There are always two paths in life, Olivia. The sensible, reasonable, and right path, and the mad, irrational, at times selfish, and painful path. One must constantly choose which we desire for ourselves and those around us." He mused solemnly, a seriousness I had never perceived in my brother. The time he spent on his own had truly changed him. 

"Well, sometimes we can't help but follow our hearts. As mad, irrational, selfish, and painful as it may be, it's the only viable path in our eyes." I tried to reason. 

"She always does this. If Father says jump, she asks how high; if Father says run, she asks how far. Where are we left in all of that?!" His throaty voice boomed. 

"I know that Seb, but come on, cut her some slack. She loves the man for Pete's sake." I chuckled dryly. 

"She's an adult, and sometimes the right choice is all that matters." His face hardened once more, but this time it didn't hold anger; he was disappointed.

 As I was about to reply, we heard a car pull up and honk the horn once. "Um, very well. I have to go now since Alex is waiting for me, but when I get back, we'll talk about a plan I have." I said as I went upstairs to grab my phone and bag. "There's a spare key under the loose brick outside, but I recommend you stay put, just in case. See you later! I love you!" I said, shutting the door behind me. 

To my surprise, it wasn't Alex waiting for me but none other than Mason at the driver's seat. 

I thought of many things, getting my gun and shooting him point-blank, throwing my knife at him and stabbing him in the chest, even getting my bat and hitting him until he was bruised black and blue. In the end, I decided to be the bigger person, to sit on the passenger side of this hellish ride.

"Good morning Livvy," He smirked as he pulled out of my street.

"What's good about it?" I murmured under my breath.

He chuckled. "That I'm sitting here with you," Mason declared.

"That's not good in my book," I gave him an irritated smile.

"Oh right, you're still pretending that I don't exist. How's that going for you, by the way?" Sarcasm. 

"Overly well," I deadpanned. 

"Oh good, you're you again. That tacky fake American accent is like nails on a chalkboard." He stared at me off the corner of his eye as he turned into the freeway. 

Touché. I completely hated hiding my identity. 

"This isn't the way to Alex's house; where are you taking me?" I became alarmed. 

"Well, there's a reason for me coming to pick you up and not bitch boy. You see, his father is getting worse, and he had to rush to the hospital last night, sometime around midnight. The point is that he asked me to deliver you to the hospital, and he would take you guys wherever you were going." He said, uninterested. 

"What happened to Mr. McKay?" I asked, alarmed. 

"Do I look like his nurse? I don't know." He said curtly. 

I remained silent as we neared the hospital street. 

"I was hoping you had reconsidered," Mason spoke pensively. 

"You know why I can't," I forgot myself and said. 

"You can, but there's a difference between can't and won't, Liv. I won't force your hand, but I want you to know that I'll always be here. I want to give you the chance to live a complete life, not a quarter of it, not a lie. You're a spy, an assassin at that. It's who you are. No amount of makeup, playing dress-up, or hiding your gun and identity will undo it. It's in your blood, for crying out loud." His eyes were solemn mirrors. 

"I have to go," I said for lack of a better excuse.

I opened the door, but Mason held my forearm. 

"Tell me you'll at least think about it," He wore the same heavy expression.

 I shut the car door. 

"Look, I can't be who you want. That wide-eyed trainee died right alongside you in the fire. I have to be who they need me to be. I have to be Alex's girlfriend, a high school senior, and Seb's little sister. I can't keep acting like who I am is still who I used to be." I confessed words I wasn't even aware I'd thought. 

"Who do you want to be, Olivia? You keep saying that I want you to be something or that you have to be something else, but who do you want to be? What makes your heart beat a little faster? What gives you the thrill of falling without caring what's underneath your feet?" He asked, looking into my eyes, but I couldn't answer that honestly. 

If I had, I'd be making a liar of myself. 

 "Let me go," I said, but I didn't know the weight of those words just yet. He did, and I slid out of the car.

I wish I could still believe his promises; I yearned this happened two years ago.

 I wish I had never left, yet, at the same time, I don't regret any of it. I don't regret Alex, and I don't regret coming here.