JeonBunBun and MelodyKitten are two 15 year olds obsessed with video games and music. Both found each other when they needed a friend the most. Becoming close and never letting go of one another, they start their high school years together, but at t...
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When I was younger, I had awful stomach issues. For some reason, my body produced way too much stomach acid and resulted in me throwing up. I spent half my childhood vomiting at random times. Doctors gave me a lot of medications, but none of them ever worked. I spent a lot of my elementary and middle school days sick in bed. My grandma home-schooled me for the most part, and she was the one who taught me piano. She played for me on days I was ill, and it made me want to make others feel better with music too. She taught me that music could heal one's mind, and she was right.
When I did go to school, I got bullied for always being sick. But when I would get home, I would play all my worries away. In my last year of middle school, I could tell that I was getting better. I knew the signs of when I would throw up and would be prepared to leave the room if it happened. As I grew older, it was like my body was finally getting used to my stomach. But I was always known as the girl who threw up all the time. Rumors went around that I was bulimic, and not actually sick. The anxiety that I felt from these accusations led me to deal with my emotions by only playing my instruments since my body always got anxious when I tried to talk about my feelings. For me, my feelings were best portrayed through music. They've gone hand-in-hand for a while now. That's how I am here now—in a doctor's office, throwing up because of my anxiety. The news I just got made my anxiety skyrocket, making me shake.
"So the reason her hand has been so weak lately is that she has carpal tunnel?" My dad asked the doctor as he pats my back.
"That's correct. It happens when there is a repetitive motion in one's hand and wrist. Carpal tunnel commonly occurs among musicians and writers," he said.
"She'll still be able to play, right?"
"There's a ton of things we can do. We'll start by giving her a compression brace to help with the pain, and exercises that need to be done every day. She needs to keep her playing to around 2 to 3 hours a day."
"I play up to 6 hours a day. I can't cut that in half. I have a concert coming up," I said, wiping my mouth.
"If you don't want this to change your life completely, you need to listen to me. Some days you should skip playing altogether. If it hurts, stop playing. Don't push through the pain. If none of this works and it gets worse, we can always do surgery."
"She's leaving for South Korea this summer for school. Should we just do the surgery first?" my dad asked.
"We should wait for the surgery. Her ligament could relax on its own. But she needs to rest."
"I also play volleyball and video games-" I start to say before my doctor responds.
"Nope. No volleyball and no video games."
"But I make money playing video games. I can't just stop," I said quietly.
"Then cut that into your practice time. Seriously, Melody. You need to watch yourself if you want to continue your career as a musician. Take this seriously."
-
I was reticent on the way home. My dad tried to talk, but I blocked him out. I blocked out everything. I didn't even realize I was lying in my bed until my phone rang loudly and pulled me out of my daze.
"Kitten, I was wondering if you wanted to play! We both only have a few more games until Masters!"
Oh god. I need to tell Bun that I won't be able to play as much. Or maybe at all. I wanted all of my time to go to music, especially if it was limited. As I was thinking of what to say, my tears started to fall.
"Kitten?"
I sniffle.
"Melody? What's wrong?"
"Bun... My body hates me."
"What happened?"
I started to cry harder when I heard his concern. Sobs racked my body, and I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Melody, I need you to take deep breaths. In and out."
I listen to his voice, trying to calm me down, and it slowly does. His deep voice has always been able to soothe me. He always knows the right thing to say and when to say it.
"You okay?" he asked quietly.
"I'm far from it," I said, explaining what the doctor told me.
"So, you just need to rest your right wrist?"
"It's like my body hates me. I was sick most of my childhood, I developed anxiety from it, and now my hand is weak and goes numb. I can't use playing as my escape. I can't even play games. How am I supposed to make money now?"
"You should listen to your doctor. Think of this as just a small injury from your hard work all these years. Your body needs rest. And just because you can't play music, doesn't mean you can't listen to it. Or write it."
"You're right... I can still listen," I said quietly.
"Maybe with this time, you should just re-watch all the Bon Voyage or Run episodes. And instead of playing League together, we can watch a drama or movie, okay?"
I nod and realize he can't see me, "Yeah. That sounds nice. We can still play some, though. But when we do, I'll need to focus on streaming and making money when I can."
"See? We have other things that we can do together besides playing a dumb video game."
He's right. Even though League brought us together, it doesn't have to keep us together. He is my best friend, and just spending any time together will make me happy.
"Maybe we can work on your terrible Korean too."
"Hey! My Korean is perfectly fine."
"Yeah, if you're a baby and just learning to talk!"
"I wish I could punch you."
"Yeah, I'm sure your punches hurt," he said, giggling.
"God, you're annoying."
"Yet, for some reason, you stick around."
"I think it's the other way around. You stick around me."
"Of course, I'm going to stick around a funny and cute girl that deals with my terrible jokes."
I laugh a little and slowly calm down before whispering, "Thank you, Jeon. I seriously don't know what I would do without you."
"Not go to the BTS concert next month," he replies.
"Oh my god, I was trying to be sincere!"
"So am I!" he pulled the phone away while he laughed harder at my reaction.
"Come on, Kitten. Let's watch an episode of a drama. Hwarang has a few out now, and I know you love V."
"I love all of BTS."
"But I know you have a bias. You talk about Suga and Taehyung a lot."
"Yeah, but I also talk about Jungkook and Jimin a lot too."
"Yeah, what was it you said about Namjoon? That he was daddy material?"
"Oh my god shut up! I can't believe I said that. I'm so cringey."
He laughs, and I forget about all my worries about my future. He has a way of just helping me forget when I need to the most. He stayed online with me for 3 hours before he had to leave to go to work. I can't wait to meet him in person and see what kind of work he does that is so demanding. Maybe it will be easier for us to spend time together when I'm not halfway across the world.
