Haurutsuki: Melting of Beautiful Snow

25. In the Middle of the Night

I had Kakashi leaned over my arm all the way to our apartment block. He abruptly looked to the sky as we neared our shared street, “Whoa! Man, you’re heavy…” I exclaimed, nearly toppling backwards from his sudden shift in weight, “Stars sure are beautiful… Aren’t they?” he said, sounding almost poetic as he stared up at them. I looked, “Yeah… You can’t see them with all the mist back home. It’s one of the reasons I love it here.” I replied. He looked down at me, “Is that so?” His gaze was getting intense. I felt myself swirling into his dark, gleaming orbs. 

I looked away, “Never mind that. Where’s your keys?” I asked, remembering I’ll need to open his door. Even if it was still a walk to get there, it was good change of subject. “Keys? Inside with the spare, obviously.” He nonchalantly replied. I whipped my head up at him, “Are you kidding me?” I asked in shock. He shrugged, “I usually get in through the window. Not like I’m usually home anyways.” I scoffed, “Well, I’m not shoving you through a three-storey window, so it looks like you’ll have to spend the night with me.” I said, beginning to walk us more towards the right, where Katsu's building was.

I put him against the door to get Katsu’s key out my purse and then opened the door. He almost fell through. Luckily, I grabbed him in time and lifted him back to his unsteady feet. 

I sighed with relief and put on the light. That’s when I saw his blue, nauseated expression. “Come on, let’s get you to the bathroom!” I squealed as I hurriedly shoved him towards it. The moment we were inside, he pushed off me and spewed his guts out in the toilet. I shook my head as I noted he was covering his face with his arm because of me. I walked to the other side of the bathroom and grabbed a cloth and towel. I wet the cloth at the basin and then walked back to him. “For when you’re done.” I said, placing the objects on the back, above the toilet seat. “Thanks.” He managed as he hung lowly in it. I nodded and went back to the basin. 

I plopped myself on the tiled floor and looked towards the bath on the side as he continued to hurl. I was worried about him, so I didn’t want to leave him alone just yet. I sat with my leg stretched out towards him, while my hands rested on my other’s knee. I sat humming to distract myself as he finished up. He sighed in slight relief, and I glanced up to see him grabbing the wet cloth and towel to clean his face. He suddenly stopped, “Your Captain, huh?” He said more than asked. I stopped humming at this. He then continued wiping his face, his back towards me. I knew he was referring to my relationship with Senichi, “Have a problem with my taste in men, Old man?” Our voices bounced off the white walls as we spoke. He slipped his mask back on and sat up. “No problem… It’s just… Why him?” he asked, unwilling to face me. I sighed and looked up to the ceiling, “I don’t know... He has a way of making the darkest of times seem like the most colourful ones. I guess…It’s just because he asked.” Kakashi lowered his head, “All he had to do was ask, huh?” He remained still, and facing the toilet seat. 

“Hey, he’s handsome, alluring, bright and spirited too. Even if he is a smouldering, loud mouth sometimes...” I mumbled that last bit. “You deserve better.” 

I lifted my head to look at his back, “What?” I chuckled out. “You deserve better.” He then turned to face me, “-I mean that, Miyuki. I know you think you don’t, but you’re wrong. A man who gives you the freedom you never had when we were kids is what you deserve.” He affirmed. I was taken aback by his seriousness, before shaking my head, “Looks like you’re the one who had a little too much sake, Kakashi.” I quietly smiled in disagreement. Then I got up and got some mouthwash by the basin to give him, “Come on, finish up. It’s passed your bedtime.” I teasingly ushered. He gave me a look, and then swiped the cup of mouthwash from my hand, “Whatever, Doll-face.” I giggled and waited for him to finish up before helping him to his feet and heading to Katsu’s room. 

“I can take the couch…” He whined once we reached it. “Oh, drop in it already. We've argued about this the whole penguin-waddle here.” I retorted, getting slightly annoyed. “And I told you I’ll take the couch...” He slurred. I thought he had sobered up, but now I’ve concluded he goes through phases in his drunken state. First, he was cocky, then affectionate, then poetic, then empathetic and now a baby whiner. I dropped him onto the bed and got him under the covers, “Look who’s won now, eh, Old man?” I said, my hands on my hips in satisfaction. He grumbled in complaint as he laid flat on his back. I sighed out my tiredness, “Good night.” I yawned out before waving good bye and walking away. That’s when I felt something grab the back of my wrist. 

I looked down, curious to see Kakashi’s hand, “Don’t leave.” I turned to him, “What is it now?” I complained. Next, he briskly yanked at my wrist, “Whoo!” I exclaimed as I found myself roughly pulled into his chest. I lifted my head, shaking it off to compose myself before looking meeting his eyes, “Kakashi, what are you doing?” I sounded more like a squealing school girl than my collected self. “Stay.” I scoffed in bafflement, “Kakashi, you are drunk and you need your rest. Now let go of my wrist please.” I instructed, his hand still had a firm grip on me as I rested on his chest. “You really are a beauty in the snow…” 

Gradual surprise kicked in and my face went red! 

Silence was the only thing between us at the time. His soft gaze confused me, and I could feel our hearts pound through the fabrics of clothes. He raised his free hand to my face and caressed the hair falling around my cheek with the back of his fingers, furthering my surprise. I felt like I would melt into a puddle of steaming water if he done anything else. Even breathe! Then who would be called the beautiful snow? “If only I could tell you…” he whispered, entranced with my cheek bone's structure. “Tell me what?” I whispered back, completely captivated by my curiosity, leaning closer to his face. 

Abruptly, his hand fell with a gentle thump onto the blanket, along with his eyes and grip. “Kakashi... Kakashi?” It was no use, he was gone. I was left stunned, letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. ‘What was that all about?’ I wondered. Slowly, I slid out from above him and stood still, watching his chest rise and fall. Almost seeing his breath seep through his mask as he exhaled. My face eased into a small smile, and I held my hands to my chest, ‘What is this…’ I wondered as my heart calmed and mellowed my spirits. Then I left the room to collapse on the couch.

I stared up at the dark, living room ceiling as images of the day replayed in my mind. My anxiety returned at the thought of Senichi, ‘How uneasy I feel…’