EPILOGUE

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EPILOGUE

"Emmanuel, I want you to be a Dean's lister when you stepped in college. Do you understand?" Papa said, full of authority.

Natahimik ang lahat ng taong nakaupo sa mahabang lamesa. We're having a family dinner in our house, narito ang aking mga Auntie at Uncle  pati na rin anjg mga pinsan ko.

I just graduated secondary earlier. Ito ang celebration.

Hindi pa ako nakakasagot ay sumegunda na ang aking Tiyahin na kapatid din ni Papa.

"You should! Lahat ng Herrero ay Dean's lister noong college! Make us proud, hijo!" Auntie Victoria raise her sophisticated brows as she nod.

What about my dream?

"Wala rin munang girlfriend girlfriend! Prioritize your studies muna," my other Auntie said.

I felt a sting in my chest when I remember the secret relationship I had for years.

"Oh, come on!" Auntie Diane, my favorite Auntie, laughed a little to break the heavy atmosphere. "Don't be hard to Emman! He's just senior high this coming school year, masyado naman kayong advance! And he's proficient in doing arts! Why don't let him choose the degree he wants to take, right?" Auntie Diane winked at me.

I smiled at her. That's why she's my favorite among all of my Aunties. Kahit hindi siya kapatid ni Papa, naiintindihan niya ako. I really love her.

Uncle Ymar, my Father's second brother, laughed without trace of humor. "Fine Arts? Saan ka pupulutin kung iyon ang kukunin mong kurso, Emmanuel?"

Bakit ako ang nasa hot seat? Kaya ayokong may family dinner, ang bigat sa pakiramdam.

Tumango tango ang aking ibang Tiyahin at Tiyuhin bilang pag sang-ayon sa sinabi ni Uncle.

"Right! Wala kang mapapala riyan sa mga arts na ginagawa mo, walang pera. Be practical, Emmanuel," Auntie Victoria rolled her eyes.

"We're family of lawyers. You should be one. You're the grandson of the family, don't fail us," Papa said with finality.

Bumagsak ang balikat ko.

"Kaya 'yan ni Emman! Herrero 'yan, e!" Mama's certitude made me suffocated.

Nakita ko pa ang pagbuntong hininga ni Auntie Daine at Uncle Veron, kapatid ni Papa at asawa ni Auntie Daine, at ang pag ngiti at tango sa akin ni Rozelle, paborito kong pinsan na anak nila, sa tabi ko.

I felt suffocated. I feel pressured.

Since I was young I was told that I have to become a lawyer someday. Pero nang lumaki ay nag-iba ang hilig ko. Arts hindi politics o kung ano man.

Nang matapos ang lunch na iyon ay dumiretso ako sa aming garden kasama si Rozelle, Vito at ang iba kong pang pinsan para magpahangin.

Rozelle poked my stomach. "That's okay... Life's really like that... You'll learn to love legma, eventually." She smiled at me with sympathy.

Ilang taon ang tanda ko sa kanya pero siya ang nakasundo ko.

"Kuya, you never learned," Vito joked.

Hinampas ni Rozelle ang aking kapatid at pinag-ikutan ng mata. "Tali-talino mo, e! Ang daming nahakot na medals, lugi schoolmates mo sa'yo!" she complimented to cheer me up.

I nodded.

That's it. I am the top student on our school, I got many awards and medals aren't that enough to make them proud? I did my best but they're still finding and looking something more of me. I am tired.

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