Herophine A tale of two

Chapter 76 - The Aftermath

Hero's POV -

As she turns to tell me not to follow I feel my chest get heavy, she wants me to stay away in a time that all I want to do is hold her and comfort her. I knew Jo wouldn't like this, she would feel pushed. One thing I have learnt about this woman is not to try and direct her she will do what she wants, when she wants. I love her stubborn ass for it though, it's a good trait of hers. I wander back to sit beside my Mom who gives me a sympathetic look.

'Thank you, Thanks for speaking to her. Will she leave Mom?'

'Son, I don't know. I hope not but if she does you have to try to just be there, even if it' s from a distance until she comes round to this new attention. She loves you I know that much and sweetheart I see you love her to, watching you with her makes my heart melt. You are a good man and it will work out I am sure of it' Her words wrap me in a comfort blanket I hadn't realised I needed.

I sit for ages, watching Jo walk up and down the yard. If she carries on she'll wear away the turf, I smile slightly but realise now is not the time for my humour so I watch from a distance until she is ready for me to be there for her. Just as I stand to grab a glass of water I notice her heading back towards the patio doors, her face is neutral. No signs as to what my girl is thinking and it scares me.

'Martha, thank you for earlier. Sorry for running out I just needed to sort my thoughts' she says politely. I watch intently, I am staring so hard trying to figure out where this is going but I'm coming up short. Fuck! Her poker face is a game changer.

'Babe, do you want some water? I ask sheepishly, she nods in agreement and I feel a little better that she is staying for a drink atleast for now anyway. My Mom stands and makes sure to be loud enough for us all to hear that she is making lunch and not taking no for an answer. I'm glad she is here, even her attempt to sidetrack Jo is making me feel better by the minute. We all take a seat and enjoy the salad and bread my Mom lays out, all silent apart from the odd question from Mercy about our trip. It's awkward, really fucking awkward and when we all finish Jo jumps up to help my Mom clear the table. She hasn't said a word to me and I feel the loneliness filling me from head to toe. Please don't push me away Jo I beg silently.

After some time passes I can see Jo is elsewhere, roaming her thoughts so I decide to make our excuses and face the music so to speak. We walk back to mine, again in silence but I haven't got any words right now so I welcome it. As soon as we get in the door Jo heads upstairs.

'Jo, do you need a minute or can I come up' I sound pathetic, infact I feel like I am to blame which is pissing me off slightly. I mean this is happening to us both, not just her. My thiughts change at the realisation that she is being abit selfish here. We need to figure this out together, I mean what harm will us being together really do. I am glad it's out there, not the way it happened but I am glad and I won't deny that. She hasn't replied but I see her at the top of the staircase going into the bathroom and returning with her washbag. She's packing, she's running from me again. Jesus! Why am I the reasonable one these days.

I storm up the stairs ready to explode, yes explode. I have kept my cool all day but enough is enough. If she loves me like I do her then she would trust me and talk to me not run at the first hurdle, well 5th or 6th but that's not the point. We are meant to be a team but right now she is ready to chuck it all away, makes no sense especially since everyone knows. As I barge I to the room like a tornado I spot her sat on the edge of the bed sobbing, I can't help but soften and crotch down indeont of her cupping her cheeks.

'Baby, talk to me please. Don't shut me out. We can do this, we can do anything together' I say whilst brushing away her tears.

'Hero, I love you. I love you so much, this has been everything I wanted. The time with you away on tour and here all of it is perfect. You mean the world to me. I don't mean to push you away but I can't deal with this here. I want to go home, I need some time. Not to part but just to think. All this attention is overwhelming, I haven't had to deal with anything like this before and I just.....i just don't know if I am made for it' she places her hands over mine to confirm her words and slowly releases my hands from her face whilst planting a soft kiss on my forehead.

I want to lock the door and thrash this out with her but the way her eyes look right now I can't do anything but sink onto the floor. I am desperately trying to figure why being parted is easier than together and clutch at straws in a bid to keep her here.

'I can go, if you need time Jo. I can stay at my Mom's. Give you space but leaving won't help. You know we work better as a team than thousands of miles apart. Please baby, just consider it'. I'm pleading, begging with all my might. She must see the hurt in my eyes and nods.

'I'll stay tonight' she whispers. Its not what I want to hear but it's better than her leaving now so I take it and pull her into my arms. I want to talk but right now isn't going to be productive, I can't push this topic on her. I need to wait for her to approach it and then, then I can talk to her.

Jo's POV -

I'm freaking out I know but the idea of being here isn't helping me. I need to leave and get my shit together. I need to have the freedom to think this through, I need to be alone. Being with Hero always clouds my judgement. I love him, I am in love with him but I know he is glad about this coming out, he just won't admit that to me and it pisses me off. It's like someone did what he wanted without him getting the headache over it.

I run upstairs and start gathering my things, he shouts up but I'm not listening. I tried to stay calm at Martha's, she was so genuine and caring about it all but in my mind all I could hear were alarm bells. My life is no longer my own, I am a pawn in a bigger game and that scares the shit out of me. I used to post when I wanted, now I am posted about, it makes me feel insignificant. I am just living a life in a box, viewed like some zoo animal. I don't know if I can live like this anymore. I love my job and the opportunities I have had but now it's affecting my mental health.

Hero doesn't understand that not everyone wants us to be together, I have heard about the online abuse other women he has encountered have received and I am not built for that. For everyone who is happy for us, there will be someone who is not. Hero has talked me into staying tonight, well we agreed on tonight even though he wants me to be here longer. That's all I can do for now, maybe I will feel differently tomorrow but I doubt it.

I want to touch him, to lay in his arms and forget everything but my head won't allow it. I sit staring at the floorboards whilst he leans into me and pulls me into his lap. Sex is the last thing I want right now, it's the first time his touch hasn't sent shivers through my entire body. My thoughts are racing and I close my eyes to silence them.