Madly (IN LOVE SERIES #1)

KABANATA 24

KABANATA 24

EMBARRASMENT

"Why are you so silent, baby?" Charles asked in the middle of our dinner.

After the talk I have with Ate Mira and Kuya Gaston, my heart felt light a little. They forgave me and I was happy with that. Not that happy but at least, I've done with one and there's more to go.

After that talk, nahulog ako sa malalim na pag iisip. I am now wondering how would I deal with the others especially Isagani and the aliens. Matatanggap ba nila ang mga dahilan ko? Tatanggapin ba nila ako gaya ng dati? Will they accept me as their friend again? As I am?

As my thought become deeper, I'm not sure. Feeling ko, hindi.

Sino ba kasi ang hindi magagalit? I left without saying my goodbye to them. I left them like they were the hot potatoes and I just dropped them off. I left them like they were the trashes and I threw them somewhere without thinking if it's right or not. I left them like they were not part of my life.

I just hope they have the same mind as Ate Mira. I am not expecting but I am hoping.

"What's wrong? Is there something bothering you?" It was Chase. I lifted my head and looked at them. I shook my head and gave them a small smile.

"You are scaring us, Charity," said Chase. He drank on his glass and stared at me, raising his brow a little.

"You are just paranoid, Chase. Stop thinking too much," I grinned at him. "You seriously need to find yourself a girlfriend instead of worrying about me. You are becoming more possessive."

"You can't stop me from worrying, Evangeline. I am your brother."

I shook my head again and laughed a bit. They're becoming more paranoid. Hindi na yata iyon maaalis sa kanilang dalawa.

"Sus! Broken hearted lang 'yan!" said Natalia who's now smirking again at me.

Gosh! I really hate that smirk of her!

"You should stop thinking about him anymore, Evangeline. He's already engage," Chase said seriously at me. Nagtagal ang tingin ko sa kaniya. "And you said you're over with him. Bumalik ka lang, bumalik na rin ang feelings mo?"

Lalo siyang nagtaas ng kilay sa akin.

It was all lie. I never had moved on. He's still here right in my heart. He's still here conquering my whole heart just like what he did years ago and the fact that he's engage to someone pained me too much.

Mas masakit sa inaasahan ko at mas masakit pa sa kaalamang nagkatabi na sila sa iisang kama noon.

Kung hindi kaya ako umalis, mae-engage sila? Kung hindi kaya ako umalis, kami pa kayng dalawa? I doubt that though. I, for myself can't even love myself that time. Baka sirang sira din kaming dalawa kung ipinagpatuloy iyon. At baka kung hindi kami umalis, wala na rin si Robi sa akin. Baka iniwan niya rin ako.

If I will be given a chance to repeat what had happened in the past, I'll be choosing Robi again and again. My decisions will be the same. Ang babaguhin ko lang, magpaalam ako sa kanila. I can't turn back time, anyway. This is the result of my decisions years ago.

Ako ang narihapan noon, ako pa rin ang nahihirapan ngayon. This is my consequence. The never ending pain, the never ending chase and the never ending guilt. I am not expecting this will end now but I am hoping soon. And when that time comes, I will surely be happy with my life.

"I need a closure, Chase. After that, I will surely be free from this feeling," I assured Chase with my statement even though I really don't know if I will. Saka ko na iyon iisipin kapag nakausap ko na siya.