Disastrous

Thirty Seven

My fingers then trace over the black ink of her name etched deeply underneath of my skin, something I'll have forever. I cry even harder then, embarrassed and ashamed of my constant outbursts but there's no one in here but me to see me act this way.

I guess I'll always have this tattoo to remember her by, too.

When I get out of the shower and dress with the same dirty clothes I had on previously, Pam has mostly cleaned the kitchen and thrown all the glass away. I watch her closely as she takes the mere two remaining bottles and pours the contents in them down the sink, throwing the empty bottles in the trash.

"I don't believe in alcohol." She merely states, and though she is small and quiet she is strong and heavy hearted. Just like Shay.

"She's not coming back." I say aloud, though it feels more real as soon as I say the words.

Shay's mother sighs and leans her hands against the counter top.

"We'll find her."

Shay's POV

I shiver in the cold, pushing Rory's stroller faster as I walk up the wheel chair slope of the old age home I used to work in. Arabella opens the door quickly, glancing left and right, before ushering me in. Her hair is pinned back in a low pony, and her apron is, for once, clean.

"Did you park your car where I told you, behind that old bank?"

I nod my head, my teeth clattering together.

"Good." She smiles sadly and quickly pulls me against her chest. I have to tell myself for about the tenth time today that I will not cry.

"I'm so sorry this is happening. But I have your back, 100 percent." She stays silent and holds me tight. "Did you pick up those tickets you said you were getting?" Her voice is quiet, and it chills me to the bone.

I nod and pull them out of my pocket. Arabella and I stare at the 3 air tickets between us and I feel like crying, again.

"We're going to be okay." She states matter-of-factly, and I hope one day I can truly believe that.

~

"Just two large, black, to go." I mumble to the girl behind the counter, fishing in my purse for my wallet.

Before I can retrieve it a hand reaches out and the money is placed in the girl's hand. She looks at me wearily but takes the money, and when I turn around I'm greeted with a warm bubbly smile, and droopy greenish eyes.

"Hi," Austen smiles, and I try my best to smile back. I can tell that he knows something is wrong when he frowns, and he reaches out to touch my shoulder.

"Are you okay...?"

I nod but the tears come anyway, and I know I catch Austen off guard when I lean into his shoulder to cry. He holds the back of my head and whispers to me that it'll be alright, and I don't understand why he's not shoving me off of him, we don't know each other and I'm crying into his navy blue shirt after he paid for my coffee.

"I'm so sorry." I sniffle and pull back, wiping my face off in my hands. I know I look like hell, with the amount I drank last night it's not surprising. But Austen doesn't seem to care, instead he just looks at me patiently and worried.

"Not to sound like a bigoted asshole, but you don't look so good Shay." He winces and I laugh dryly, agreeing with him that yes, I look like hell. I grab the two coffees for Arabella and I and check my watch. She was waiting out in the car, and we only had a few hours before our flight.

"Would you like to sit down?" He asks and motions to a table he was sitting at, and I can't help but smile as I look at the laptop, papers, and muffins he has scattered around.