The Fatal Crush

🎀CHAPTER 32🎀

I saw Reva walk away from me without stopping. I'm gonna fuck those bitches. They want to destroy me, but they won't make it.

I leave the casino entrance and go back to the fucking office. Stephan and Ridge are still inside.

"I don't wanna see that cunt in here again!" I'm growling at Stephan, and I mean Elva.

"I have already given her dismissal. It has nothing to do neither with the casino anymore, nor with your business after what happened," Stephan tells me.

"Make sure she'll do it," I threaten him.

"She has already gone. I instructed your men at the entrance not to let her get in here again, but also in any other professional space that belongs to you," Stephan confirms.

"Alright, you can go," I say without mood.

I don't have to make a scene for that asshole when I told him not to let anyone in. I'm sure it would have prevented anyone, especially Reva. But he didn't count on her being damn smart; she got out of his hands, so he snuck into my fucking office and saw all the things he wasn't supposed to see.

"Hey, asshole, sit down," I say to Ridge who stands like a sad dick and looks out the window.

That dickhead didn't know what he was getting into.

"Asshole, I told you to sit down," I say to him again.

The dumbhead finally obeys.

"I suppose you're also gonna curse me now, aren't you?" I ask, lighting a cigarette.

"No, it's not your fault. Reva was right. I just want to know something. What you did with Marinell was before me or even while I was with her?" He asks puzzled.

"It was before you. What happened, it happened before she met you and never again," I answer candidly and look him straight in the eyes.

He lowers his gaze and seems to believe it.

"I've wanted to say a few words to you about her for days," I say to him in a serious tone.

"Why?"

"I wanted to keep you from doing the shit and getting emotionally involved with her. She's a cunt in the soul, Ridge. Even if it wasn't me, she would have fucked you with someone else," I tell him confidently.

Marinell is a bitch in body, but she's a bitch in the soul. Not that I'm any better, but when a woman's a whore in the soul, nothing's gonna change her. She'll fuck your psychology until he makes you think you're incompetent.

That's what Bridget tried to do to me.

I'm looking at that asshole, Ridge. He seems more troubled than before.

"What are you gonna do with her?" I ask.

"I recently caught some messages on her phone from her ex. His name is Alfred. She told me about him," the asshole says like a sad chicken.

"But she didn't tell you that her ex is still texting her," I add, looking at him with irony.

"Ridge, she is very likely to come back to him. Did it ever occur to you that you might have been her toy?" I tell the asshole to wake him up from the bollocks that Marinell might have thrown at him.

"I don't know, Dorian. She's sent me a bunch of messages since everyone left. I didn't answer her," he tells me puzzled.

"Sure! She didn't tell you I gave her a couple of blowjobs before she came near you to fake she's in love with you!" I say in a smug tone as I giggle. "She told you what suited her," I keep laughing.

"I wonder why Reva keeps friendship with her. They are very different from each other," he says, joining his eyebrows.

At the sound of Reva, I abruptly grow serious.

On hearing Reva's name, I abruptly grow serious.

How could she be now?

What do you think she's like, or better yet, what would satisfy your ego to hear about her condition? The fucking voice says.

I haven't heard it throw the truth in my face in hours.

But Reva loves me. She'll understand.

What should she understand? You blame Marinell and get Ridge to kick her out. Who's gonna get Reva to kick you out? The fucking voice says in my head again.

Some thoughts never come out of my head. They don't reach the mouth to become fucking words and be heard.

"I'm thinking of Reva. I think how he handled the situation when everyone was in front. She didn't shout, and she didn't curse. Most importantly, she didn't even blame you," he says with admiration.

Indeed. She didn't blame me when she had every right to do so.

"I don't intend to lose that chick, Ridge," I say to him in a very serious tone, almost threatening, and I don't even know why.

I don't like to see him admire her. I fucking think the asshole might be impressed with her and try to conquer her.

Fine, I don't give a shit. As Stephan got the message, 'You look, but you don't touch', this asshole will get it too.

"I wonder how much she can forgive you yet," the dick says, and I begin to get angry.

"Reva must love you, Dorian; truly and sacrificially. You saw what she did. She preferred to leave and be hurt than to stay here and break it all," the asshole continues to slap me, but I can't stand to talk back.

He's right.

"You better get out of this bitch friend of hers and don't mind what I and Reva do," I shun him as much as I could.

It's getting your ego squashed, and you can't stand it, can you? The fucking voice says.

Yes! Go fuck you, too.

                                                                          ***

I sent Ridge home. It's almost dark, and I'm fucking tired. I'm leaving the office for home.

My ass is itching me right now to go by Revas' house, but I'm hanging on. I'd better give her time. I know she loves me. I fucking feel her love surrounding me, and that gives me confidence.

After a bath I barely took, I lay down on the bed. I want to close my eyes and sink into a deep sleep that will have no precedent.

I suffer from a lot of twists and turns. I puff, I sigh, and thoughts go and come. I get angry and I get out of bed. I light a cigarette and look out the window.

It's awful to be sleepy, to want to sleep, but your eyes stay stubbornly open. I wish the thoughts would stop for a moment.

I put out the cigarette in the ashtray and lay back on the bed. I sigh and try to sleep again. My sleep became a struggle until it took me.