The Fatal Crush

🎀CHAPTER 8🎀

As I approach, I can see Marinell's black, imposing Mercedes. Oh, I wanted to see her now.

"You got lost," that's the first thing she says.

"Yeah, uh..." I'm making an excuse.

"I know you were with Dorian, Reva. And actually, that's why I'm here right now," she says with one breath, ruling out all my attempts at false excuses.

I don't want to lie to Marinell; I have no reason to do this.

I unlock the door of the house and get in unspoken. Marinell is following behind me in the same manner.

The atmosphere between us is getting heavy. I feel uncomfortable about it because as usual, we don't have such moments with Marinell. But now I can tell from her expression that she has something important to say, and I have a feeling I won't like it.

I pour some coffee for both of us, and we sit at the kitchen table. Marinell lights a cigarette and so do I. She's got that, -tell me your news although I know it- look, but not in a happy mood.

"I saw Ross," she pops up abruptly.

"And why should I care about that?" I ask almost aggressively.

"Not so fast. You'll find out. You shouldn't care about Ross, especially after what he did, but-"

"But what?" I'm interrupting her.

She sighs with patience with my behavior and continues.

"Ross knows Dorian, and he said-"

"What did he say to you?" this time I'm yelling too much.

Marinell is holding back from her desire to tell me to shut up and she remains calm. Normally, she would have responded to my nervous behavior by now because she's just as irritable as I am. It must be serious about what she has to say; even if it has something to do with Ross.

"I know this will sound crazy, impossible, perhaps inconceivable, but either way, you must stay away from Dorian Green," she says with one breath.

I don't know if I will call what she says ridiculous, but from her tone, I have to take her seriously. 'Stay away from Dorian Green.' I get upset and troubled. What did I ask for? To have love in my life from a man. I feel this need every day that goes by more and more, especially after I broke up with Ross.

"Don't rush to judge Ross for being jealous because he saw you with a young, rich man, and all that stuff," she says even more seriously. "And just to prove to you I didn't just stick to Ross' words, I checked elsewhere. Dorian is not good for you," she continues adamantly.

"Why should I listen to Ross? Why did you hear him too? I'll do whatever I want, and please don't sit around talking about me with anyone, and much more with my ex," I make it clear to her.

Marinell is my friend, and I'm sure she has a reason for saying what she's saying. But for the 'Dorian' chapter, I don't want to hear anything.

"I'm dating Ridge. You already know that Ridge and Stephan are very close to Dorian," she answers quickly and looks me straight in the eye.

"I see. All right then. So tell me what I need to know,"

She keeps her eyes down like she's looking for the right words. Whatever comes from Ridge and Stephan has a different gravity. I don't trust them with my eyes closed, but I'm sure whatever they have to say about Dorian is interesting.

"Marinell, look, I know he's messing with the mob, and that the money he makes isn't so much from net earnings. If that's why-"

"It's not just about that," she interrupts me with the same intense expressiveness, and I confess I'm getting scared.

It's that famous moment you meet among friends. When your friend's got a serious attitude, and he's about to tell you something shocking. And even before you hear this 'shocking', overwhelms you with the feeling of worry in advance.

History repeats itself and emotion changes.

"Whatever, Marinell. Tell me what Ross told you about Dorian," I answered indifferently, almost ironically, with that look that says, 'Say whatever you fucking like, I don't care, I'll do what I want.'

"It doesn't matter what Ross said. What matters is what I found out," she answers emphatically. "I hate this, but Dorian is not what you dream. And most importantly, he will not change!" she's got her eyes wide open.

"Marinell, I know Dorian may have been involved in murders, but, it's ok. He has nothing with me to reach to the point to kill me if that's what you're afraid of," I'm commenting, with a sense of a response safe.

"Reva, Dorian won't kill your body. He will kill your soul," she says and gets up quickly to leave.

I didn't stop her. I know what Marinell's doing. She doesn't like too many words. She says what she has to say, and that's it. She left me behind to think a lot.

For Dorian.

I asked to have love in my life from a man, but obviously, I don't have it. I sigh at the thought of this need because I still want to be loved.

Facing Dorian, all my feelings are silenced because he doesn't give me love. And yet, at this moment I crave to see him again.

Somewhere inside of me, I find a hope that he'll be able to understand how much I want him and that will thrill him.

No. I'm on the wrong side.

Is that how should I claim a man's love? Should I thrill him just to love me back?

My gaze falls on my cell phone which is buzzing and I know it's Dorian before I even saw it.

*Be ready in ten minutes.*

It doesn't look like a message. It looks like an order. Why am I complaining? I love his demand. To put it in a better way, I want Dorian badly, and I don't care how he talks.

Not in ten minutes as he asked, but in seven minutes I'm ready and waiting for him outside my house.

This time, a silver MG stops in front of me and Dorian drives it. I got in without talking; I didn't even say hello. I just feel surrendered to my desire to be with him.

How else can I explain my passion for Dorian?

I wonder, is it true that a great passion does not last a lifetime? And what is the charm of it? Is it because it is very intense and engraves even scars on the time-drawer of memory?

I don't know, is it worth this whole process for somebody to live through?