The Fatal Crush

🎀CHAPTER 16🎀

*flashback*

"Today we will drink; we will make love, but remember. It's a farewell," I say to Ross, looking straight into his blue eyes.

I feel disappointed with him. He made the mistake and pressed the 'Trust button '. I can't trust him as I did before. I just can't. Even if I'm with him again, I'll always be scared.

You can't keep a relationship that way. Not long ago, Ross made the mistake of hitting on a woman I've known for years. That was Marinell.

Ross snuck my phone and found her number. That same day Marinell called me and told me about it. She asked me how Ross got her number. She told me that he called her and asked her for a snog with him. Of course, she refused.

You know what happened to me, right?

I almost dropped my earpiece from my hand. After two years of my relationship with him, I felt fall apart before my eyes. I mean, was I ready to forgive him? Was it something I could walk past and carry on with as if it didn't happen?

Honestly, listening to Marinell on the phone, at that moment I lost the earth under my feet. The thing was, I couldn't pretend. I mean, wait to see Ross's reaction and all that.

I went at once up to the room that was waiting for me and told him what had happened. He denied everything at first, having first turned white from the shock of the information.

After that, we stayed together for another year. I tried to forgive him, but I was always afraid to trust him again.

I tried...

Really, I tried.

But inside of me, I was done with him and I knew it.

After we had enough drinks, I started kissing Ross passionately. Maybe I'd never kissed him like that in our three years of relationship. The dizziness from the drink acted quickly and I found myself making love to him. He filled my body, but not my soul.

I quickly realized what I was doing and why I was doing it.

What the fuck did I do it for?

I was still in Ross's arms and nonstop tears were streaming from my eyes. I was shaking in his arms, and he felt embarrassed. He saw my frustration as clearly as he saw my naked body.

He caught me by the arms and shook me.

"We can't be apart! Can't you see that?" he told me shaking my body to realize what he was saying.

"No," I said, sobbing. "No. It was a farewell," I insisted.

*End of flashback*

"It's all past now, Ross. It's our past. We have both moved on with our lives," I say in a steady voice, and I take us both out of the absorption of memories.