The Fatal Crush

🎀CHAPTER 27🎀

Dorian picks up the cigarette I give him and sits down again on the sofa beside me. He pulls big puffs making a big cigarette burner.

I slowly get up beside him and go into the bathroom. I let the water run into my body, and I feel relaxed from the satisfaction I had with him.

I take Dorian's bathrobe and put it on. I stand in the mirror and wipe my hair with a towel. I put it in the laundry basket and with my fingers, I comb my hair so that they don't fly erratically.

I swallow dryly, as I look at myself in the mirror and notice lipstick next to Dorian's perfume. I take it in my hands and take off the clasp.

Red lipstick, I think silently. My mind runs at once to all the female faces whirling around Dorian.

Silly thought, isn't it?

Almost all women wear red lipstick, even me. I put the clasp on it again and leave it in the place where I found it. I think at once of Elva who came out of his house before.

Could it be hers?

And why does she forget such personal belongings in Dorian's house?

The tightness in my stomach is coming back. I sigh in vain, lest I take it out of me.

What should I do now?

Should I ask him for an explanation?

And if he gets mad?

Is that what happens from now on? Every time you see signs of possible infidelity, will you be afraid to tell him? My inner voice attacks, something I already expected.

So, that means he's sleeping with others?

Just the thought makes me sick.

Tell me, what woman would not be sick now with such a thought?

Dorian opens the bathroom door and walks in. He finds me in front of the washbasin resting my hands pensively. He goes in to take a shower without even noticing the lipstick on the mirror.

Maybe... maybe it was forgotten by some woman who might be his relative. If it was suspicious he would have taken care to hide it, wouldn't he?

These thoughts are convenient, my inner voice says ironically.

"Can I use this lipstick?" I say quickly without realizing how the words came out of my mouth.

I just can't 'swallow' it like that without hearing him give me even an excuse.

Pathetic, isn't it?

It's like mentally begging him to serve me any excuse just to push away the knife that threatens to stab my heart.

Sometimes I wonder.

Can't he see that I'm okay with him?

What have I done that he doesn't like and let his indifference and selfishness destroy me?