The Fatal Crush

🎀CHAPTER 1🎀

One year before

Although the rain outside wouldn't stop, I finally decide to go out tonight. It's been days since Marinell keeps nagging me for that new casino that opened near the neighborhood.

Lately in Colorado casinos open up as mushrooms grow, one after the other. Not that there weren't enough already; especially in Denver where I live. Since the beginning of this year of 2019, every busy corner in Denver is home to a new casino. 

I haven't been out of the house in two months. I spent the classic time of breakup from a three-year relationship that I really never expected to end.

That's how it works, isn't it? Who starts a relationship and is sure to break up? But with the same logic, have this scenario in the back of your mind. Keep in mind that maybe one day you'll break up.

This 'bonding' that is created and when it dissolves and the entire world is gone, I will never experience it again. Especially a woman, she should get along with herself and get on her feet like anyone else.

Even if you lose the bond with a mate, don't feel like the entire world is gone. Nothing's gone.

That's what happened between me and Ross. It was a little expected for me to bond with him after three years of a relationship. Not that small.

Besides, from what I've learned recently, Ross is with another girl, and people we know say he's in a model relationship. Even Marinell heard the same and found it out recently herself when she saw them in a coffee shop hugging, exchanging tender moments.

Everyone who saw them talked about the perfect couple. The model relationship. Maybe Ross changed. Or he received his lesson while he was with me and realized that using people to satisfy your interests, will not get you anywhere and you won't get anything.

I can't say it doesn't seem strange to hear about him being a model mate because he made my life miserable.

I had to put up with a lot of his whims from the beginning of the relationship. I always had to give in no matter what. Not that hard to understand that lately our relationship had become heavy and had lost interest which had at first.

I think Ross had already met another woman even though we were still together. He had a lot of things on his own and we hardly saw each other.

But that's the way it is. You meet a guy; at first, you get this unfounded and unshakable feeling that you've found the man of your life, everything is wonderful and promising an amazing future together.

You go through all the stages of his intransigent character, you cry, you yell, and you are stubborn. You're reacting in a kind of way so you can make him recognize what his mistake is. And you wait, you wait... you wait until you see what you made. And it's not that you're selfish enough to make him the man you want him to be. I say this to prevent people who might say, "Love someone as he is and not what you would like him to be".

You don't want to change the other person because that's physically impossible and time is wasted. It's just, you teach him how to treat you when he gets his feelings, but because he's too selfish, he doesn't deal with them, but he hides behind them. And when you're finally empty and there's nothing left to give him, you wait like an idiot to enjoy the result of your effort.

It's just that a guy can't give you the "maturity" that you gave him because you were the one who taught him this and he knows that you know this weak side of him.

Any time he takes the tone of "orator" wanting to show you his mature side, you're going to look at him with a tone that says, "I taught you that, remember?" And so it is.

So the conclusion is that you have prepared him, you have "built" him up as a man, and in essence, all this will be enjoyed by another woman who does not know his past behavior. You give him the experience, you make him, and he is ready for the next girl.

But he will never be for you because you made him and he knows it. It won't work out what he learned from you, for you. As is usually the case. He's going to pass all this on to the new girl who's going to be thrilled to deal with him from scratch.

And he won't be a fake in his feelings; he won't be a hypocrite in his behavior. He will be true because he will have gained real expertise and experienced the truth.

Immersed in my thoughts and preparing myself for the walk, the time passed quickly. It's not the first time I've made basic moves without realizing it. The body does its work. As for where the mind is, that's another story.

The doorbell is ringing frantically. Jesus Christ! Marinell has no sense of time that I might be in the bathroom for example and be two minutes late opening. She always does it. Since I remember her, from our adolescence almost, ringing the bell and waiting immediately to open like the other one is standing behind the door all day.

I'm a year older than her. Marinell is 28, and I'm 29. We've known each other since school, and we're still friends today. I don't remember ever arguing with her. Marinell, at least as far as I can remember her, has been a good friend so far. Although some people we know had told me as advice not to be so sure about her. They always tell me to hold back with her. She is rather spunky with men and has no scruples about making acquaintances easily. Some of our conservative common acquaintances think that Marinell Doherty is just a bad influence.

I open the door with one eyebrow up.

"Reva, you're too late to open!" she tells me grumpily as she walks in hurriedly.

How original, I'm thinking.

"You don't mean to understand that I can't keep standing behind a door, do you?" I sigh.

"But you waited for me. You knew I was coming," she's grumbling.

"I'm not a minute late," I'm puffing.

"Anyway, let's go, we're late," she says nervous.

"What are we late for, Marinell? Who's waiting for us? The casino won't leave its place!" I talk back to her meticulousness.

"It's already too late. It'll be loaded! There's an opening today, Reva!"

"Whether we go early or late, the world will be just as big. There's no reason to panic."

"Now what? Are we going to talk about this much longer?" she smirks her lips and looks at me like I've come from another planet.

I'm not answering her anything. I grab the car keys, and we get out of the apartment. Marinell suggested we take her car, which made it easier because mine needs some repair, and I haven't been able to take it in lately.

Along the way, Marinell has the music aloud, and I almost lose my temper. I love music, but right now the volume is annoying me.