She's lost In A Sea Of Poetry

A Lesson In Love And Self Love

You are given back what you give out. What you give returns back to you. If you want love, you must give love. If you want friendship, you must give friendship. If you want honesty, you must be honest. If you want respect, you must be respectful. We teach others the way we want to be treated. Some people will give to you back, what you give to them. Some will not. Those who don't return your efforts, are not for you. If someone can not return your feelings, it is not your problem, and you can not force them to, and you shouldn't try to force them to. You can not an will not change someone. You can offer them advice or insight, or you can tell them your values. You can tell them what you want from them,what you desire, what your needs are. But you cannot expect someone else to give them to you. They may not. They may in fact give you the exact opposite of what you wanted, needed, and had in mind. That is okay. You can't expect everyone to be able to meet you where you are, and if they can't, perhaps it is in your best interest, and maybe even theirs to let go of those exceptions and move on if you are not happy. Emotions and relationships are a hard,complex thing to understand. Sometimes what we give is not returned to because who we are giving to can not, will not, or does not want to give back to us what we have or do give to them. Some people try their whole lives to force someone else to love them, and to love them in the same way, and the same measure. You can not make anyone do that, and it is also not your fault if they can't, or won't. You are not broken, or unlovable because someone else didn't, doesn't or won't love you. A lot of us think we are. A lot of are trapped in the belief that we cannot, or will not be loved, or understood , or respected by anyone because we have been so mistreated and used and hurt and manipulated in the past. But that is not true. You can, and you will find someone who will,who can, and who will want to meet you halfway. Someone who will return your efforts. Someone who will give you back what you give them, and treat you with the same kindness, the same respect, the same honesty.And when you find that person, it will feel like the best thing has happened to you. And you will realize that it wasn't because you weren't lovable, or that you weren't pretty, or kind enough. You will realize that it wasn't because you weren't honest enough, or that you were too honest. You will realize it wasn't because you were too expressive, or not expressive enough. Or that you were missing something. Sure maybe you made mistakes. Maybe you could have been more honest in the past, and more open. Maybe you could've been more demonstrated, or more kind, and sympathetic and understanding. But maybe they could have too, and it isn't your fault. You've learned, you've grown. Don't beat yourself up. Maybe you could have had better boundaries or stuck to your self respect better. Or spoken up for yourself. It is okay. Stick to your values, stick to your wants and needs. Move on, let go of the people who couldn't love you or who maybe you couldn't or didn't understand how to love either. Let it go. Forgive yourself, forgive them. Let it be. Let it teach you something. Learn from it, grow. And when someone comes along who can, who will, and who wants to give back to you, what you want to give them remember to be kind. Remember to be thankful, remember to be patient. Remember to love yourself too. Remember to love them for who they are, and accept them and what they can give you. And if they can't or won't give you back what you give them, don't force them, don't fight for them to, don't wait for them to magically do it. Tell them gently, and understand they may not be able to deliver. And if they try, accept whatever they give you and accept their efforts and admire, respect them, value you them, and understand them. And if it is not enough for you, and they can't or won't give you back what you give them, let them go. I realize now it wasn't that I wasn't worthy of love, or trust, or respect, or honesty. It was simply that some people couldn't, or didn't know how to give those things back to me. And sometimes the people you love, can't love you the way you love them. They don't know how, or don't want to, due to their own emotional and physiological experiences. And that is not your fault. And please remember none of us are perfect. A lot of us are still learning how to give and receive love, and what a healthy and unhealthy relationship and love looks like. Sometimes you have to hurt, and experience the bad to learn, know, and understand the differences. Some people don't understand the difference between a healthy realtinship and an unhealthy relationship and some people don't care. Some people don't understand things till they experience them for themselves. Sometimes people have to experience things for themselves in order to grow, understand, and learn from them. I would like to think I've learned more about relationships from my experiences, but I know I am not perfect. I can not and will never be perfect and neither will he. I can only to be a better version of myself then I was yesterday, and the day before, and the week before, and the month and year before and so no and so forth. I can only try to better myself for myself and everyone else around me, and I can not and will not force anyone to do the same. But I will encourage it. However also remember your flaws make you who you are, and you can't change them overnight. It takes work, effort, self love, and self care every day. Keep working, keep growing, and be patient with yourself and others. You'll learn, you'll grow, you'll change over time, and you can and will find love, self love, acceptance, self acceptance, self respect, respect, and understanding. And to start to understand a huge part of a relationship, is your own self love, your own self respect, and acceptance. And some days you will struggle with that, but it will be alright. Breathe, process, feel, and be patient and understanding with yourself. Healthy relationships start with a healthy relationship between yourself, and then others. Let your past inspire you, encourage you and motivate you to be a better you then you were yesterday, and let your emotions flow. Emotions, thoughts, and situations are always changing. It is okay to take a day to relax and do nothing, just like it is okay to go for a mile run of you wish. Find a balance, a healthy balance that works for you, and just try to be a little bit kinder to yourself and others then you were the day before, and just try to treat yourself better the day before. Maybe you need a break? give yourself one. Maybe you need to get up and be active? Do it. Your needs and wants are constantly changing, listen to them, follow them, and give them to yourself. And understand too, that others needs, and wants are ever constantly changing. Don't expect someone to always be able to give you what you need. In fact sometimes what you need isn't something from someone else, but from yourself. And stop expecting people who only ever give you crumbs to ever give you something more then that.