Metanoia: A Change of Heart

Chapter XX ~ Thonia

A hand wrapped my wrist. I turned and saw it was Joshua. "Here's the dare," he said in low voice. Glad that he did not say it aloud. Having witness of a dare meant having a lot of people to force you in doing it, just like earlier. Thankfully, Asaila was occupied of her phone that she did not even notice I wasn't beside her, she continued walking.

He grinned as he explained. His grin could ruin my day! I hated the way he showed those perfect teeth, especially when the reason behind them was my torture, my emotional torture. "It will still go the way I said earlier. If you won, all will be disregarded including this new and that past dares. However, if I won, you will talk to Rick," he raised an index finger, enumerating in his fingers. "Go to the party with me," he raised the other finger. "And," he paused, making the wait agony. "There is a dinner dance to be held in our school, not sure when but the Student Council is informed about it now."

"So...?" Was he asking me to go with him?

He poked my chin. "You will go with me."

I laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. "You wanted me to go with you?"

He actually rolled his eyes! If only I could video that and replay thousand times. He looked funny. "Yeah, just common dares. As part of the student council, I have no choice but to go forcefully. So, deal?"

"It's a deal." I wiped the dryness that formed in the side of my eyes. "Anything to erase talking to Rick." I did not know I said my thought in serious tone.

He felt sympathy for a moment, but returned to his playfully annoying personality. He walked off.

"Thonia, we're late!" Asaila noticed me after all these time and pulled me into the building.

~

Night came and I couldn't sleep thinking about Joshua Silva and his dares. There were so many dares why in the world, why did he pick the hardest.

Rick Raymond.

He was my first crush in highschool. We were freshmen back then. Of course, I could not help it. When love stroke, no one could prevent, and that was what I felt. He was a gentleman, good looking, smart, and our batch's first honor overall, who would not love him?

In a class of mine, he became my seat mate once, and after some conversations, we sat beside each other frequently. "Do you have a tape?" was the first time he had spoken to me. I fully remembered him holding his torn Biology exam with his cute worried smile.

Coping up with highschool was not that easy; exams, projects, lessons, all those craps, but he had helped me in all through my first year. Asaila was there too, but she herself experienced such problems as well, addition to problem with boys. Little by little, Rick had stolen my heart and everything that came with it: my mind, my feelings, my emotions.

One afternoon, he confessed his love with me. I, a total jerk and hopeless in romance, fell for his promises. Everyday felt special; every morning, I woke up because I wanted to see him, hold his hands, and feel his heart beat for me...

That was love wasn't it?

My parents told me that if you love someone, you would love him with all you have, give a little to yourself, and no one could separate you. Not sufferings, not death.

True love was inevitable, and infinite... My feelings for him was strong it was unavoidable. But infinite? I wondered why we fell short in that description.

Three years, almost four had passed, yet I was still trapped in that misery.

When I got home, I just ate supper with Jude and spent hours rolling back and forth on my bed.