Metanoia: A Change of Heart

Chapter V ~ Joshua

The smell of books filled the air, arousing my memory. I set those aside because I had another important thing to think about. I had to find the book. I took Kennard and Fredd home after school to help me find it in the mini-library.

"I don't understand, Joshy. Why do we need to find that again?" Fredd complained as he leaned on the grand piano in the middle of the room.

I planned to tell them after we found it. To make sure I did not hear it wrong. "I'll tell you after."

Kennard scratched his head. "How are we going to help you find something we don't even know?"

I scanned through the shelves. "That can't be lost. It's just here."

"Found it!" Fredd shouted.

I turned to him immediately and he frowned. "You're really going mad about finding it don't you?"

I sat on the brown fur couch in.the middle of the room. "Something's terribly wrong. I need to know who made those--not shitting care if he or she is a psychopath--I need answers before I submit myself into a mental clinic."

Fredd sat beside me. "Tell us, we're here to listen, 'yah know."

"I know that."

"Hey, Josh!" I saw Kennard beside the tallest shelf, holding a book. I checked but it wasn't the same book I was looking for.

"After Darkness. Not After Earth." I clarified. "But thanks, anyway."

Kennard returned the book. "I'm giving up! Sorry, but I have problems of my own, bro. I couldn't stay here and deal with little shits."

I was stunned of what he'd said; Fredd was too. Pain overthrew my anger, he was my bestfriend and he said it in times I needed him. "Shits?"

Kennard's ears became red, a sign when he was nervous, near his crush, or about to cry. He sat on the ground, back by the wall, hugging his knees. "I'm sorry, I--Sorry" he buried his face on his knees.

I sat beside him, Fredd did the same. I understood that he had problems of his own. I felt ashamed because considering my problems, I knew there's no point of comparing them to his, yet he was still here.

"There's no way things will get well at home," he said.

"I thought you already talked to them?" Fredd asked.

Kennard held the tears back and shook his head.

I avoided to look at him. My conscience was hitting me. "I shouldn't have brought you here because of my madness."

"It's not your fault, I didn't mean what I said."

I closed my eyes. The door opened and May entered, not noticing us. She went to a shelf and turned, that's when she saw us. "Whoa!" she stepped back. If it wasn't the drama minutes ago, I could have laughed because of her shocking face. "What are you guys doing here?"

I stood up. "Nothing, we were looking for a book."

"Book?" she glanced at Kennard and Fredd. "Your friends know how to read?"

Fredd stood up defensively. "Ofcourse we can!"

Kennard wiped his face using his handkerchief and laughed like nothing had happened. "Josh's little sister, I do, isn't that obvious? But my friend here," he gestured to Fredd. "I don't know if he even knows how to count."

May grinned. "Anyway, what's the book?"

"After--"

"After Darkness?" she finished, excitedly.