Metanoia: A Change of Heart

Chapter XXXXX ~ Joshua

Josh, sorry but I might be late for the lunch. Emergency. :(

I wanted to go back to my car but they already saw me entered the restaurant filled with red and pink decorations. "Where is Thonia?" Cel asked once I was standing by the table for eight, the one Stephen reserved for us.

"She'll just be late for a while."

"Take your sit, Josh. We can wait for her before ordering." Stephen said.

I sat beside Gabe and saw him looked up with the empty bowl of appetizers. "Want?" He offered between chews but I shook my head.

The other two couple were slightly the opposite. Stephen and Cel wore identical couple shirts with hearts and cupids who seemed to highly enjoy each other's company including us watching; on the other hand, Kennard and Alex were much less revealing. Alex covers half of her face with her handkerchief while Kennard discreetly made a move to hold her hand. I tried to call and text Thonia but it went straight to voicemail and I receive no reply.

When minutes passed and the waiter came the second time around, I stood because the peoe around the table grew boredom. "Go ahead and take your orders. I'll wait for Thonia outside."

"You sure?" Gabe asked, but they were already looking to the menu. I nodded and locked myself on the car.

After a couple of hours or more (I lost track of time, getting anxious). I saw my friends going out of the restaurant front and entering Stephen's car. They did not likely to see me because they pulled away without glancing back or stopping even when they passed my parking space.

Where was Thonia? It was almost evening.

I ignored the grumbling of my stomach without lunch and planned to go to their house. I was about to reach the valet when I almost bumped a girl who just got down a green motorbike. I glanced at my rear-view mirrors and realized it was Thonia. She got in my car but I was not able to ask where she'd been because other cars were heading my way, I was causing traffic. "Just park again. I'm so sorry. Sorry, Josh." She apologized.

"Where have you been?" I asked once I had turned the engine off.

She covered her face using her hands, I thought she was going to cry but after she removed her palms she smiled. "Have you eaten? Let's eat." She got out but I was still frozen on my seat. When she opened my door, she leaned down to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. Hoping she would tell me what happened, I followed her in the restaurant. She explained briefly how everything was fine and she just accompanied Jude to the hospital for check-ups. Abruptly, she started talking about how excited she was for getting the lead in the Year End Concert, how she hated too much balloons in here and when we planned to finish Metacosmos X despite the busy schedule.

~

The following weeks felt like it was running faster than a cheetah until it would finally met a deadend, graduation.

Everyone, especially the seniors, got very busy completing their requirements and clearance for the ending school year. As graduating students, our examinations will be two weeks earlier from those under-graduates. My friends were becoming serious, a very rare instance to occur—Stephen and Gabe for the Year Book and final lay-outing of the final paper while Kennard and Fredd for available universities and colleges who still offers entrance examinations. I, for the record, happened to be busy doing both. Maybe that was also the same reason why Thonia and I barely talked and hardly had any dates at all.

Stephen and Gabe did a great job in lay-outing our Year Book that's why we finished right before the examination week. I was happy for the early dismissal. I planned to surprise Thonia and walk her home because I hadn't done it for a long time.

I was about to text where she was when I saw the posters of the Year End Concert all around the fifth floor. I ran to the other end of the building, checking for any signs of the Glee Club Room. Luckily I passed by Liza who was holding a while silky gown on one arm and the doorknob of a room in another hand. "Hi, Josh." She greeted with a smile.

"Hey, is that the Glee Club?" I asked, trying to peek in but the glass windows were tinted and the room seemed to be sound-proof.

"Yes. Do you wish to audition for the concert?"

"No, uhm, can you just call Thonia for a bit?" I properly slung my camouflage backpack on my back and flatten my shirt, just in case she was about to see me.

"Thonia? Sorry she's not here, Joshua." Her face seemed to frown a little.

"Ohh, it's fine. I just thought she is practicing for the concert." I smiled. Liza let go of the doorknob and stared at me with confusion. My smile vanished and asked what was wrong when a chubby sophomore I recognized as one of May's friends, opened the door. "Liza, there you are! They're looking for the lead singer inside," Patz said and she seemed to blush when she saw me and closed the door.

"Joshua, didn't she tell you she left the Club already?" Liza worriedly asked.

"Left? I thought she'll sing the lead?" I asked and suddenly felt like my face flushed. How didn't I know?

"Yeah," she started to shift from one step to another. I knew she was also wondering why the hell I did not know. "About two weeks ago or more. I got her role by then. Anyway, I really need to go, bye Joshua." She entered the room and left me there thinking.

I got down the stairs and almost slip a step when I saw her sitting on the swing outside. "Thonia!" I called her even though I was not that near. She did not turn so I ran towards her. "Hey, why didn't you tell me you already left Glee Club."

She looked up at me and stared, just stared. Then she spoke while staring at the distant tree infront. "I got busy and I know you do too."

I caught my breath and sat on the swing beside hers. I wiped the thought in my mind and reached for her hand. She was wearing the watch I gave her, the entwined hearts glinted. "Don't worry, just a week away. Just exams and then graduation practice then we can spend summer together."

"Joshua," she said slowly.

"Yes?" I replied. She looked at her feet and squeezed my hand. "What's that?" I asked when I received no reply.

"Nothing." She bit her lip and shook her head. "I just want to say your name."

"I miss you so much." I said before I even identify the neurons in my mind to do so. All those lunch breaks and dismissals our schedules did not match evaporated after I told her that.

"I miss you too." Her voice almost trailed off.

"Is there something wrong?" I knelt infront of her to see her face. She shoved me away and ordered me to sit back on the swing. In the long silence, she gave a final squeeze on my hand and started swinging off the ground that made our hands slipped apart.

The following days were not that good either. Although her mood lifted and started to go back to almost the same as normal, she still kept on diverting the topic whenever I tried to ask her again and again until I fully dropped it. I trusted her and why she chose to keep it from me if she was indeed keeping something.