Look into your heart and let me know
Do things turn black and gray as they go?
When I'm far too gone, can you show me love?
-joji
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violet cosby has dedicated her life to a coffee house and the woman who taught her english, however that soon all ch...
a couple days later, violet finally felt comfortable coming out from her home again. not to the point where she could film elaborate videos with the boys, but where she could be there with them and observe their strange actions.
george left yesterday, he had to get back home for personal reasons, which everyone didn't complain about. everyone just felt like it was nice to see him again after all this shit. the boys respected the idea that he wouldn't want to be in their videos even though george didn't actually say that.
finishing up some skit the boys put together, ian came up and tried to hug violet. "no-no! you're disgusting." she tried not to touch him because of the puke from himself and max that coated his outfit. "go take a shower, big man."
"get rejected, faggot," max snickered, gagging in the process from the left over food stuck in his throat. "jesus fucking christ."
"i hate you guys," chad burped, trying to keep down what he ate "fuck," chad puked. violet had seen all this suffering for just one video full. from vile food to shock collars, it really didn't have a limit.
"you're all idiots." reaching up, violet kissed ian's cheek where she didn't see anything crusty or sticky. "go take a shower, ian." he nodded and walked off to his bathroom. "where do you guys come up with these ideas?" max shrugged and wiped his face off with a damp kitchen towel.
"we just- we're geniuses." max answered with slurred speech. "i'm fucked from this shit." gesturing to the food that was liquidized and spewed all over the kitchen floor.
"i hope you guys know you're picking that up.. including ian." violet glared at the two who were trying to clear their mouth of the vomit. "jesus." when ian came back into the room, his hair was messy and wet.
"i'm going to take a shower," chad announces and makes it way for the bathroom.
「」「」「」「」
later that night, violet went to sleep early due to the exhaustion she's been put through these past couple days. when she was violated that night, her head felt like it was being swarmed with bees and wasps. every now and then she'd feel that same thing, a beehive in her mind. it was a constant reminder of what she went through. when ian came back into the room, the feeling of hopelessness filled her once he didn't realize what was happening.
that next morning when he threw the guy out, she felt better. in her mind it felt like it was her fault what happened, that she induced his want and need to feel her. however, as she thought over the scene, she realized there wasn't anything she said to him, barely even made eye contact. how could someone she's never seen or talk to have such needs for her? she didn't understand.
exhausted from the constant thinking, violet shut her eyes and drew circles in the comforter that wrapped around her. lydia was taking care of celine and maximus while violet stayed with ian since she couldn't be there to care for them. the need to be with him was stronger than any other time. being alone frightened her.
ian and the boys sat in the living room, drinking and watching horrible youtube videos. "so, you and violet have sex yet?" chad was always straightforward, it was as if he didn't think before talking. max chuckled and covered his mouth with his hand in attempt for it not to be noticed.
"no," ian answered. chad cocked a brow and scoffed.
"what the fuck? it's almost two months now. damn." chad didn't fully understand that sometimes it takes more than two months for some relationships, maybe even more than a couple months. especially in a time like this for violet, she wasn't feeling it.
"wait, you haven't even gotten head yet?" max inquired, leaning into the beanbag. ian smirked and shook his head.
"yeah, no. we talked about our feelings on sex. she feels like she needs to be sure that i'm here for real, that i love her. she said she believes in acts of pleasure, as you know. we just haven't... fucked around." chad and max exchanged a look of confusion.
"damn, i don't know how you survive, dude." max shook his head with a mischievous smirk. "sex isn't everything but it's something."
"i'm willing to wait for her." ian sighed and crossed his arms over his chest.
"do you love her?" max stood to pour himself more of the drink he had. ian thought for a moment and gently nodded his head.
"yeah. i-i think i do."
laying in bed, a smile spread across violet's face as the sudden news made its way to her ears. the idea of ian and her being in a relationship where he had enough courage to tell her those three words made her hands shake with enthusiasm.
ian was unsure of if he loved the blonde or not. of course he had strong feelings for her, he liked being around her and being able to hold her, but the idea of love made his stomach churn. if he did love her, what was he to say? how would he tell her? when? it was all too much for a time like this. maybe he wasn't ready to tell her that he loved her. however, what if she said it first? there was no point in overthinking something that the two knew one day they would say to each other.
"how do you know when you love someone?" chad asked, chugging his beer. ian bounced his leg and shrugged.
"you just know. you start to think about them even when they're around, notice the small things they do that might piss you off, but you still adore them.... uh- you-you just feel better when you're around them... i don't fucking know." max snickered at ian's words and looked up to the ceiling.
