RusAme- To much, not enough Time

7

WARNING: SOME SENSITIVE TOPICS. IF YOU AREN'T A FAN OF ANGST DO NOT READ

(This is what I do instead of Online school)

America

It's been two months since the accident. I haven't gone back to the meeting place; I've been getting the papers via internet. I've healed up pretty well, so, that's good. But the main problem is that Confederate still hasn't come back.

I've tried calling him, but no dice. I'm starting to get worried. But that doesn't matter. Tomorrow I'm going back to the meeting hall. I've sent all the kids to bed, and I've cleaned up the place. I sighed. "Okay. Tomorrow I see everyone. E-" My voice caught as I realized something was wrong. Very wrong.

Looke here. Looks like someone is having an attack. Oh no. OH NO. 'Funny isn't it? You try so hard to say you are fine, but you are so not fine.' I stepped back in fear as they came closer to me. Confederate grabbed me from behind. 

Look guys! He's already panicking! "This isn't real, this is just me having an attack" I whispered, my eyes closed. Nazi laughed his wicked laugh that I remembered from so long ago. "Oh really? you haven't figured it out? You really are a disappointment." I couldn't move. I was stuck as they got closer to me. I was freaking out.

"W-What?" Native came up to me. "You are the world super power. You caused all of us to die. When you have your [attacks]-' Italian empire picked up. "You come to us. We have a chance to make you feel what we have!"  I what? And don't worry about your 'brother'. He's not that important, now is he?

"Where-what-" I screamed. Pain flared though my body. It was like someone was stabbing me, burning me, making it hurt so bad I thought I would dissolve..."T-This Is what you-AGGGH!!!" Laughter. So much laughter. I couldn't stop from flashing back.

It was 1901 again. I had just met some of the other countries after my war. They would give me their condolences for losing my brother. I was wearing my sunglasses, which I had invented. China had walked up to me, smiling. "So, I hear you are pretty new, aren't you?" I gulped and nodded. "Do you know how to run a country's taxes and debt?" 

"W-A-a what?" I stuttered, still nervous and scared. "You don't know how to do that?" He laughed. All the other countries looked over. "How can you be a country when you don't even know how to do that? You should've stayed a colony of Britain!" I shrunk down even more as another country...I think his name was Soviet Union, spoke up.

"If you hurry, I think your dad will let you back in! After all, He does seem eager!" I looked up to see Britain walk up to Soviet. "I would, but that chap is to cruel and definitely someone who is way to crazy." China gave a sarcastic gasp.

"This country is to crazy for UK? WOW!" Everyone started to laugh. It was too much. Tears started to fall. "Look! The little country is crying!" More laughter. It swallowed me up. 

I was back. In my living room, The countries laughing at me. "AWWW the little american can't deal with what happened! Maybe you should pay for it. Give yourself more blood on your hands." Wouldn't that be nice? To feel your blood run down your arms paying for all the crimes you did but never got to get punished for? Well?

I nodded. I knew it was my fault. I caused this to happen. If only I hadn't...I walked to my bedroom. 'You know what to do. It's now or never!' I grabbed the bathroom door handle, locking it, myself in the bathroom. I collapsed on the floor looking up at the spirits. "I-I'm sorry guys." I whispered, closing my eyes.

"I wish I just never existed. Now...I can't even die..." Laughter. So much laughter. I grabbed the razor that was somehow near me and took off my shirt. "Look at you. You're so fat. You didn't even try!" I nodded, raising the razor to my arms.

One for every country I killed. 

One for everything I know I did wrong.

One for me being a stupid monster who liked men.

"Are you okay?"

I looked up from my crying space. A little kid was standing in front of me. I sniffed. "I'm supposed to run a country...but I'm just a kid! They treat me like an adult and make fun of me!" The kid hugged me. "Wh-What are you doing?"

"Hugging you. папа says that a hug helps people when they're sad." I Smiled and hugged back. "Yeah. It helps. Thank you." The boy smiled. He couldn't be more than my age. "Can I show you something?" He nodded. I led him to a small house near the big building. It was silent. 

I led him into the house, where I dragged him upstairs. In 5 cribs lay little babies. He gasped. "They just showed up one day. They were all alone, so I took care of them. I wanted to show them to someone." He smiled. "They're ad-ado-CUTE!" I nodded.

"Aren't they?  This one is Rhode Island. She's a quiet one." I pointed to the small baby, who yawned in her sleep. He smiled. "Do-Do you want to head back? папа Is probably worried about me." I nodded. We left the house and he said, "I think you're gonna be a biiiiggg country!" He stretched his arms out to emphasize the size.

"You really think so?" He nodded. "Yeah! If you can take care of babies at my age, you'll be a great country!" I hugged him. "Thank you! I needed to hear that." He hugged back. As we soon arrived at the building, I waved goodbye to him. As I turned, I realized. 

"Hey, I never got your-" He was gone. But the smile on my face never disappeared.

Note: Country ages are fluctuating. When Russian empire fell, USSR Became an adult, but when He died, it took Russia and the others a few years to become adults. America grew up until he was 13, and stayed there until the start of WW1; in which he grew into a 20 year old. The countries ages don't really coincide with the history of the world neither does the story.

But then again this is a story about countries as humans living their lives as America raises 64 and counting children. SO....yeah.