My Life

Story time

While in Quarantine I have found the source of all my problems

And what's more therapeutic then writing it all down? Idk probably a therapist

On the topic of writing shit down I'm making sort of a story about junior year and why it sucks and things you can look forward to.

Basically it's me recounting junior year thus far

If I published it, would anybody read it? It's nonfiction and based off of everything I've experienced so far, and takes place with everything I'm going through

Ok anyways back to my problems

Here are a few of them

-Lack of Communication skills
-I get clingy to adults I trust(not really a problem but more of a why it's happening)
-Procrastination
-Lack of care (school work especially)
-Self-destructive thoughts
-Negative outlook

Ok here we go

Communication Skills

You all know I'm a twin, and that's a large portion of this

When he was born he had some weird heart defect, in not exactly sure but he almost died within a day of being born

He was flown to another hospital and cared for, so he's still alive

When we were younger we were never apart, we relied on each other

He was more of a talker, and I just made sure things got done/took care of him

All of my early teachers (pre-k and kindergarten) have noted that I didn't really talk much, it was mostly Noah

This has lead to me not knowing how to respond to questions properly

I don't know how to socialize because I never had to when I was younger.

One story my mom told me a day or two ago was from pre-k

Preschool for me was at my church, because my parents were familiar with that environment

Anyways the teacher took me up to the kitchens to do something, probably get a snack or whatever

Which separated Noah and I

My mom says that once we got up there I talked and I talked and my teacher was stunned, because I never did that

Noah did, not I

But we were alone and I just talked

It was a rare thing

In kindergarten Noah and I were in the same class, a mistake my parents made sure did not repeat

In first grade my teacher said I wasn't that talkative, and I got sad days

I'd just be really down on random days with no explanation

I also remember being competitive about math so there's that too

But I was very shy, I didn't interact with other kids that much, found them weird and hostile like I still kinda do

Adults I can talk to, people my age? Not really

So my point being, Noah is the reason for my lack in communication skills

Because he talked so much for me, I never learned how to, I never developed that part of myself comfortably around other people.

Even today I struggle in conversations, I don't know what to talk about, and I get really quiet if I've been talking too much

Another aspect of this is I don't communicate when I need help, and this also ties back to Noah