My Life

Fucking..

I swear to fucking god

I'm going on vacation to my favorite place in the whole world in two days

Annually my family goes to the Adirondacks and I am always so relaxed and all my problems melt away

I feel so masculine when I visit, but I swear to fucking god

I think my period is coming and honestly if it comes and it's heavy I will personally beat god in hand to hand combat then make period vanish from existence

Well, I'd make it so you don't have to bleed, it's just the egg and you're like,

'Welp There's goes the egg'

And not dying and shit

Because honestly 9.9 times out of ten my periods are long and painful

They last a week most times

But it will ruin my week because we're only there Wednesday-Monday and then I'm spending a week with my family to celebrate my grandmother's birthday (she's turning 80 but she will always say she's forever 39, and so my mom is forever 19)

But I really don't want to have to deal with it because then I'm just super anti-productive and I won't have access to the things that make me feel good

However that's tomorrow because a really good song from a. Musical just came on ('Goodnight My Someone' from the Music Man)

I love all these songs from musicals

Musicals just catch my heart and carry me away

Ack

If anybody were to kidnap me, really just play 'Gee, Officer Kurpke' from Westside Story or even any song from Hello, Dolly and you've got me sold

These songs just bring me back to when I saw these shows on stage at my high school

These shows were a highlight

I always looked forward to them, no matter what they were called

Whenever we went on intermission I was so concerned that I'd miss it starting back up (I hadn't realized intermission was fifteen minutes long)

And now that I'm involved and making these shows happen, I just fall in love again every time I see the actors in their costumes signing and dancing on that stage

Also my sisters graduation was Saturday and oh boy she had quite the graduating class

Unfortunately my cishet crush was one of them, and I saw her after

She looked so y'all next to me

I wanted to say hi but I was too scared

Because let's be honest I'm not the most vocal person

She's just so darn pretty and she owns everything

And even better she's going to the same collage as my sister so hey, maybe I'll see her there

It'd be weird and yea

Ugh

Why is everyone so good at communicating in real life?

Also I want to come out to my parents over text but there's not moment where none of us are at the same place at the same time

Like my mom is always home, my dad works from home, and I don't have any plans

And if I text them at home I'll be forced into a conversation I can't carry

Ugh

Can't someone take the wheel for me?

Mr. Clean take the wheel

He's asexual right

I hope

Can I just have a boyfriend?

Honestly I just need something to cuddle with me and solve my petty and nonexistent problems

And also help me because I have way too much going on this summer

I'm on vacation until the 17th

And from there to the sixth of August I have to work on my gold award project

Then I leave for Utah and get home the twentieth

And then I have to do school stuff like literally all my homework and summer reading

So yea I won't have a life but that's ok

I'll just cry a couple dozen times

It's fine

BUT

I FOUND THIS REALLY GOOD SONG SO GO WATCH IT

ITS CALLED 'The Village'

HOLY SHIT ITS ON BYE