My Life

Half Birthday!!

2/11/18

Eh! Today is my half birthday!!! Although nobody has recognized it as that, *sigh* nobody does. Well, that's not true, there's me, that's like, half a person, right??

Any who, how are ya'll doing? I'm doing ok. I thought I was getting better, all because I found music to help me sleep, after running through the entire track.. THAT WAS A LIE

Well on a more positive ish note, I'm less confused than I ever was! I'm figuring out who I am, and what I am to certain people.

You know you have a true, really good, friend when you play rock, papers, scissors, and you both point a gun because it says shoot.

But you can also know you have a true, really good, friend when you can freely talk and joke about sensitive topics, such as your mental health and suicide, because, everyone in the space is mentally unstable about themselves.

That's the group of friends I believe I have in my lunch. At least two of us (Including me😛) has depression and are not very social. So we can easily joke about it, because it's part of us. All of us are more likely than not socially awkward, and at one point or another, probably bullied.

I know I have. Kindergarten. Long story short, but it was on the bus, and that's how we had assigned seats! And how I made a friend for ten years.

But you know, friends can also be those who you go to talk in a serious matter. If you want to talk and have support. Not to joke about your mental instability. But to find comfort in her mental instability.

I feel I have a mixture of all three friends. Those who have gone through what I have, and give excellent advise, those who will joke about our instability because it's kinda fun to joke about, and those who will actually try and help you.

But know, I can be any of those friends, depending on who I'm talking to.

Confusion update: I'm just trying to figure out how to talk to my parents. Like fuck in these type of serious convos that happen face to face I struggle. I get nervous and don't talk, then feel like an idiot ten minutes afterwards.
Any way, I feel more masculine then feminine, whenever I create an OC, they're 99 percent of the time male, because it feels weird writing a female. I dunno. It feels more relatable as a guy. It's always been this way, even before I started questioning my gender.

So, I hope ya'll doing fantastic, and you're enjoying life?? But uh, till next time! Thanks for listening to me rant!