Chapter 51 Voices

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Y/N's pov

  I sat up quickly with my hands wrapped around my throat, a dry gasp of air leaving my airway. I started to breath in and out slowly to calm myself. Turning my head I noticed Rave still asleep peacefully, not wanting to wake him I slowly slid out of bed and towards the door.
  I grabbed one of Rave's many teas before setting the kettle to boil. My heart was beating quickly from the nightmare and voices. I shook my head at the thoughts as the kettle whistled. Pouring myself a cup I walked over to the living room and turned on the tv. I flipped through channels before landing on a comedy movie, I needed a laugh right now.
Taking a sip of the tea I watched as the characters sat around talking. I froze hearing footsteps coming down the stairs and turned to see Robyn walking towards the kitchen, she paused looking at me.
"Y/N?" She called "You okay?"
"Y-yeah just couldn't sleep." I lied looking down at my tea "You?"
"Needed some coffee." I turned back to my leader raising an eyebrow, it was two in the fucking morning. I turned back towards the tv "Have some case files I need to finish going over. Oh hey Rave."
"Why are both of you up?" Rave sighed walking over towards me, he froze noticing the tea "Come on Y/N, we're going back upstairs."
He knew what the tea meant. When I first joined the team I'd wake up most nights from horrible nightmares of my past. Rave would notice his tea gone the next morning and get mad, demanding someone to explain. After telling him about my nightmares he agreed to let me drink his tea whenever I had one.
I nodded my head before standing up and waving bye to Robyn. My leader gave us a nod, turning back to work on her cup of coffee. Rave reached down grabbing my hand as the two of us walked in silence, the only sound in hall being our footsteps.
I placed my tea on the nightstand before bringing my knees to my chest. Rave walked over slowly taking a seat on my left, wrapping an arm around me. I curled up next to him letting my head rest against his chest.
"If you don't want to." He muttered kissing my head "We don't have to talk about it.."
"It was just a mixture of every bad moment in my life.." I sighed looking at my hands "From when I frist arrived at Bloods, all the experiments, being kidnapped again, losing you.. Everything horrible, anything that had damaged me was in that nightmare. The voices screaming to just give up, that I wasn't worth it. It felt like I was being pushed further into the darkness. It scared me.. Rave what if the voices stay.. They keep reminding me of everything. I want them gone!"
"It's okay.." His knuckle wiped tears I didn't know had formed away "They will go away.. Y/N it's your past, don't let it define you. You keep holding onto it's going to keep hurting you.. It will take time but you need to let the pain go.."
"It's just so much of my life was pain.." I muttered, biting my lip I looked up to meet his eyes "But without that past I wouldn't be here today. I'd be a normal human and wouldn't have such great friends with me or the greatest boyfriend."
"Flattery won't get you anywhere with me."
  "I'm only saying what's true." I yawned curling deeper into his arms "Thank you for everything Love."
  "You can sleep.." he whispered pulling us under the covers "I got you.."

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