"Natsu, I think you should eat something buddy" Gray suggested to the dragon slayer. His head burried in the pink pillow. His body laying in Lucy's bed, he wanted to take in her scent before it disappeared forever. He couldn't reply to the ice wizard, he didn't have the strength to talk let alone eat.
"Gray just leave him be, there is nothing we can do" Erza ordered the boy. It was at times like these that the red head needed to be strong for everyone. Everyone needed to grieve and everyone needed someone to comfort them, she knew she had to be that person.
The raven haired boy left the apartment dressed in his suit. Today was the funeral, and Natsu had still yet to leave her bed. It had officially been 3 days since the tragedy struck the guild and everyone was still feeling the impact especially the pinkette and his cat.
"Natsu, I know how hard this is for you, but her funeral is today, the guild would appreciate..... Lucy would appreciate for you to show your face" Erza spoke and Natsu felt his heart clench at the mention of the celestial wizard. Erza spoke as if she was still alive.
Lucy wrote in her will that her apartment would go her partners. She didn't have any next of kin so who better to give it too. Natsu was with her when she made her will and it was then that he realised he was somehow meant to live without her.
When she was diagnosed with the same sickness as her mother everyone was devastated. Natsu made it his mission to give her the best life possible, he couldn't bare to lose her but more importantly he couldn't bare for her to not fulfil her dreams. For the first few months the two travelled together, all over the world, they did everything on Lucy's bucket list. It was during that time that Natsu admitted his feelings for the blonde which she returned. It was bittersweet, finally being involve with someone who loved you back, only to lose them soon. Once they returned Lucy spent a lot of time with her friends, until one day she couldn't get out of bed. In the infirmary she laid, making her will and saying her goodbyes.
On her last day Natsu was with her. Right beside her when the monitor flatlined. When she died so did his heart. He knew dam well that she was his soulmate and that he could never feel that way about anyone again. Lucy told him to find someone else, to move on, but even if he wanted to it would be impossible. Natsu left the infirmary and walked back to her apartment in silence. He hadn't cried yet, his body was in shock, he couldn't process his loss properly. Instead he slumped himself on her bed and laid there. He was soon joined by his companion Happy who just snuggled up to his leg trying to suppress his cries.
"She's dead"
He spoke for the first time since her death. He announced it, finally he was beginning to process what had happened. His body trembled in the blankets and his eyes filled with tears.
"She's dead Erza" His tears soaked the pillow and he felt his stomach turn inside out. He was in indescribable pain. How was he supposed to live like this. How was he supposed to live without her.
"I know Natsu, I know" The redhead sat down on the bed patting his head, gently playing with his pink locks. She was suppressing her own tears.
"I loved her so much" He continued to cry. His emotions going everywhere. He was sad, lost, angry, sick. He just knew there was no way his life would ever be the same or anywhere near as joyful. He couldn't help but feel annoyed and mad at himself, he should've met her sooner, told her how he felt sooner, he should've given her everything and more, she deserved that. She didn't deserve such a short story.
"Lucy would've wanted you to come today" Erza encouraged the boy trying her hardest to get him out the bed. To her surprise he rolled over and sat up. His face looking at hers. She was dressed in all black, her eyes glossy.
The dragon slayer on the other hand had puffy eyes and a swollen up face, most likely from suffocating in a pillow for three days. His hair was dirty and messy and snot was dripping from his nose. He was a disaster. Erza knew from that moment on that Natsu wouldn't get over this, he wasn't capable enough.
She took a deep breath and helped him out the bed, Happy awoke from his slumber and watched as Erza took the boy to the bathroom cleaning him up. Natsu got changed in the suit Gray brought him and looked in the mirror.
"Luce I fucking miss you" He whispered wishing that maybe she would appear but he was wrong. She was gone someplace up above and he wouldn't be seeing her for a while. He broke down again falling to the bathroom floor bawling his eyes out. He violently punched the floor causing the tiles to crack.
"Its not fair, give her back to me, give her back" He yelled causing Erza to barge through and pick him off the floor. He was like a baby, throwing a tantrum. Nevertheless Erza comforted him till he calmed down and finally the two headed toward the most depressing event of Natsu's life.
_________________
5 months later
"Hey Happy, why don't we stop by the guild today?" The pinkette came out of the bathroom a small smile on his face. His hair was still damp from his shower and for once he didn't smell horrible. Dressed normally, not in his pyjamas.
"Aye sire" The blue cat he was talking to lit up at the word 'guild'. During the past 5 months Natsu had not left the house, of course Happy had, he needed to see the others and tell them how Natsu was. Guild members all visited and only In this final month would Natsu actually talk to them.
"Happy I want you to know something" The dragon slayer looked the flying cat right in his eyes.
"Yeah Natsu"
"We are going to live our lives to the fullest, because thats what Luce would've wanted" Saying her name cause his eyes to gloss up but he fought back the tears. He knew life was never going to be the same but he would live it for her, in honour of her.
"I like that idea" The two headed to the guild together ready to see their friends again. Natsu was a bit scared that seeing the guild together would remind him of the love he lost but he also knew that his friends already lost one person they couldn't lose another.
He had to remember Lucy's words.
"Even if you lose everything something remains"
Although all hope was gone, although Lucy was gone, the guild remained, his friends remained, Happy remained and he would live.
