Marigold

26

Mari's POV

"Here,"

After accepting what he's given me, I quickly chugged the light beer and fill my throat with it. I heard the sound of his laughter, probably amused with my ability to pretend I am okay while drinking in an open space like this.

"I'd bring you to a bar but we both know we're dead if either of our parents finds out," he stated. I put down the can on my right, the two of us staring at the open sky before us. Beneath us was a beautiful view I'd gladly wish to see every day when I wake up.

Too bad Mom and Dad didn't want to move near this place.

"That would probably earn us another scandal, don't you think? And then they'll say I'm the Jeon playgirl, who seduced two Kims," I uttered and I heard him snicker.

"As if I'd let you seduce me. My eyes only see one girl,"

I smiled at what he said.

"Did Atlantis allowed you to court her now? I mean, it's been years since you first ask permission,"

Xander had been in love with Atlantis since I can't remember. He's such a hopeless dude. He's intimidating, much like Uncle Yoongi but he'd immediately waver once Lantis says a word. He's just like Ashton.

When I saw him calling me earlier, I knew I needed to be with someone I can trust. And even though I am the closest to Z, I can pretty much confess everything to Xander too. He calls me whenever he thinks I need him. That's how close we are. We are friends who see each other when one badly needed help.

"You know Z loves you, right?" he whispered. He chugged on his beer while I lifted my gaze and started appreciating the stars above.

"I know. How can I forget about that when all he does is make sure I know that he loves me,"

"So why are you acting cold to him then?"

I bit my lower lip at his question. I guess this was the reason why he went to see me. He cares for both of us and somehow, I feel a little bad for making even our friends worry.

With that in mind, tears started streaming down my cheeks. I didn't bother speaking. I know Xander understood.

I just sat there and cried. At one point, I felt him put a jacket on my shoulder because it's getting colder.

"You know, Z is that kind of person who doesn't share his things except to Elle and Y. You know, since he's the eldest. So when I saw him letting you borrow almost all of his wardrobe, I already knew that somehow, he must have had feelings for you. I'm not sure he's already aware at that point but I was so sure you two would end up together. I know how much he loves you. Fuck, I won't take my exams in a rush like that,"

I wipe the tears on my cheeks as I listen to him. Suddenly, I remember that day when Z showed up at the Villa I was in. Come to think of it, he really did a lot of things for me.

"Why are you so afraid?"

I turned to him and saw his worried eyes. I felt his arm on my shoulder and he pulled me closer. I lean on his shoulder and cried again.

Xander had always been a sweet friend. But I'm betting he'd run to Lantis in a flash of she calls for him.

"Because I don't want him to get hurt. It feels like being with me brings too many problems. I feel like all I bring to him, to his life are problems, everything is a mess,"

I cried in his shoulder and he let me. Maybe because Xander is a bit older than most of us that we can easily confide in him in times like this. And he lets us. He acts like the oldest especially when Ashton isn't available.

"So what, are you going to leave him? Can you do that? Can you let him go?"

That idea crossed my mind too but I can't. I can't do that to him. I love him.

"Mari, remember, being in a relationship comes with a responsibility. When you agreed to be together, you agreed to share the burden. Do you get me?"

"I know! It's just that, I feel like I'm hurting him more,"

"So, if you leave him, do you think that'll stop the pain? If Z calls you now and tells you he will break up with you so it won't be hard for you, what will you feel?"

The words he said hit like a damn truck.

I can't. I just can't let him go.

"Mari, love comes with a sacrifice. But sacrificing doesn't always mean letting go,"

"Xan..." I cried even more. What he actually said made me realize how I really can't let Z go. No matter how painful it is, I want to be selfish. I want to be with him even though it's so fucking hard.

Soft chuckles escaped his lips and when I lifted my gaze to see why, I saw his eyes focused on a car coming close to our direction.

"It's scary how Z knows you. He actually knows where to find you even without asking," Xander whispered and my heart started beating rapidly with just the sight of Z's car.

Just remembering how I acted towards him earlier makes me feel so bad.

Z had been nothing but an angel. He loves me and he never fails to make me feel how much he wants to be with me. Yet here I am, doing nothing but make him feel like I don't trust him.

So when he was finally able to reach the rooftop, I ran towards him and gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry, I love you! I love you so much," I told him as I bury my face in his neck. His arms are wrapped around me and I never felt so safe in my entire life.

"I love you too baby, so damn much," he uttered and that's more than enough.

From now on, I will make sure to carry the burden with him.

Because that's how it should be in the first place.

Because we love each other.