5SOS Oneshots

Poke Your Lungs With Broken Ribs (Lashton)

Prompt: Ashton winds up at an unexpected dinner with a man who loves being illegal

Era: 2018

Additional note: death I guess. Mention of blood, murder, etc.
*****
"I'm so done with your bullshit excuses Irwin"

"Michael I fell off my fucking deck!"

Ashton stared ludicrously at Michael who stuck his tongue out in mock, before he spun around in his chair. Ashton ran a hand through his curls before he spun Michael back around to face him, slapping a hand across the blondes cheek.

"Michael! It's not that far of a drop, but I still fell off my fucking deck!"

"Sure you did Ashton. Layout the whole scenario and we'll see if I believe you"

"You know I'm writing a book! I had to see how falling from a height is like so I went to my deck and accidentally fell off"

"Why did you fall?"

"Because I'm a dumbass!"

Michael snorted and took another bite of his chicken nugget from his Happy Meal, waving his hand that had the toy clutched inside in the air.

"Oh I know. Just wanted to hear you call yourself a dumbass"

God, it sucked when your best friend was the principal at the high school you worked at.

Ashton rolled his eyes and sent a middle finger in Michael's direction, before he left Michael's office and went up the stairs to his classroom, where his class was wreaking havoc.

"Jesus Christ, you guys are in high school, stop acting like you're 5"

"But you're late Mr. Irwin"

"I fell off my deck!"

"Sure you did"

Ashton only rolled his eyes and took a long sip of his coffee, before taking another. This was going to be a long day.

"Take our your outlines and first drafts, I'm checking for completion"
*****
It was.

It was a very long day, filled with bullshit.

And now? Ashton was ready to buy some lunch and then go home, not to be bothered for the rest of the day. Ashton was walking along the sidewalk, minding his own business, when he suddenly felt a cool hand around his mouth, and was suddenly being dragged into an alleyway.

Oh fucking brilliant, this is just what I need

The man before Ashton had his hair in messy curls messily scraped to one side, but despite his beautifully craved face and the sapphire whirlpools in his eyes, Ashton noted a feature of far more interest, the gun in his hand.

Ashton trembled slightly, before he shook his head unfazed, and simply crossed his arms. He had only had 2 cups of coffee today, and he would be damned if this lunatic could come between him and his lunch.

The man had his gun pressed against Ashton's forehead, and his arm across Ashton's body, pinning him against the wall as he roughly made his demand.

"Give me your wallet or I'll shoot"

"No"

"What do you mean no? I'm going to shoot you if you don't give me your wallet"

"What do I mean? I mean no. Hell no, you lunatic"

"I-what? I don't-oh...ok I guess"

"Aren't you gonna shoot me?"

"Give me a second, this hasn't ever happened before"