Silent but Deadly

18. Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Noun

The action or process of forgiving or being forgiven

Namjoon was indeed shocked at what had came out of the younger boy's mouth. He couldn't believe it it all, it felt like a dream to him. For years all he wanted was a sincerely apology from Jungkook and he finally got it.

Of course he wasn't going to forgive Jungkook straight away at this moment but he definitely needed some time to think about all of this and process it. Most importantly how was he going to tell Jimin and Taehyung about this too. They both hate Jungkook with a passion.

Namjoon couldn't think straight at all. He had so many different scenarios built up in his head, it almost drove him crazy. Namjoon picked up his utensils and started eating his food, completely avoiding the younger male that was in front of him.

Jungkook felt kind of relieved after apologizing to Namjoon but he would feel even better if Namjoon had forgiven him. Of course he knew he put Namjoon through a lot so he wasn't expecting anything right away from him.

They both finished their dinners and headed to the beach. Which was Namjoon's favorite place. Jungkook could remember their first date like it was yesterday. The younger boy had taken Namjoon on a beach picnic and Namjoon was picking up all sorts of crabs and showing them to him. Jungkook smiled at the memory and kept walking.

The sun was setting and Namjoon stood in front of the water reflecting his answer. Parts of him wanted to reject Jungkook for hurting him so badly to the point where he didn't want to live anymore and the other half of him wants to forgive him and move forward with all of this. Namjoon knows that he can't change his boyfriend, Jungkook would have to be willing to change himself.

Namjoon wanted to cry again but he didn't. He sat down and watched the waves crash along the shore, the sky was a beautiful orange purple color with pink clouds, and the sun was slowly going away. He truly missed being at the beach it was his happy place. He almost forgot Jungkook was even there observing him from afar.

Jungkook forgot how beautiful Namjoon could really be. He wished he would've never treated him so badly in the first place. Jungkook started shedding tears silently without the older boy knowing. He truly did fuck up.

*an hour later*

The sun had completely went down and both boys were sitting in the car on the way back home. Namjoon made up his mind and he know he shouldn't. Jungkook parked in the familiar drive way and shut the ignition off. He was about to get out of the car but Namjoon had stopped him.

Jungkook looked at Namjoon with a confused expression. Namjoon had that nervous feeling he had earlier once again. "Jungkook-ssi, I uh-, thank you for apologizing to me it means a lot. But you hurt me so incredibly bad to the point where I thought I had no purpose to live anymore. I did everything to care for you like the loving boyfriend I am" Namjoon whispered. "However, I'm not going to deal with it any longer. You need to change for your own sake Jungkook. Don't you ever get tired of hurting me after you've hurt and killed others outside of these walls. I always made sure that you were okay and that you were well cared for. But I forgive you. I still don't trust you and that's probably never going to change unless you prove to me that you are worthy of having my trust back." Namjoon breathed out.

And with that Namjoon got out of the car leaving a bewildered Jungkook in the car.