I went to the computer room after that talk with the Queen, kung pag-uusap man ang tawag doon. I noticed that there's a dust on my keyboards and monitors. Halatang wala talagang gumalaw noon simula nang huli kong punta dito.
Not that they can use it anyway. I am the only one who can use my computers. I programmed these that way. So I can prevent the files and informations leakage.
And besides, I'm the only tracker in this group.
I decided to clean my things before using it. These are my babies. At naaawa ako dahil napabayaan ko sila ng matagal. I'm scared na baka masira sila dahil sa mga alikabok na bumalot sa kanila.
My mind started to wander to what happened earlier. I can't believe that I swallowed my pride for L and for my father. Ito ang kauna-unahang pagkakataon na nagmakaawa ako sa isang tao. This is the first time that I begged. It wasn't a good feeling. I felt so pathetic. So powerless. Pero ito na lang ang meron ako para maprotektahan ang mga minamahal ko.
I sighed. I missed those days na ang paghahanap lang ng lollipop ang problema ko kapag walang stocks sa mga groceries. Not that I regretted meeting L. I'm actually thankful that he came into my life. Dahil sa kanya ay natuto akong lumaban. Natuto akong ipaglaban kung anong gusto ko. Natuto akong kumilos na para sa pangsarili ko at walang sinusunod na utos.
He let me out of my chaotic world. And even if it's just for a while, I had the great time of my life.
At hindi ko hahayaan na mapahamak ang taong nagparamdam sa akin ng ganoon.
I sat down on my computer chair and turned on my computers. Pinakatitigan ko lang naman iyon. I don't know what I should do. I don't know where should I start planning.
Then I remembered that I still haven't know anything about L. My fingers worked and tapped on the keyboard. Inilagay ko ang buong pangalan ni L sa search bar para sana hanapin ang mga impormasyon tungkol sa kanya nang mapatigil ako.
Somehow, it made me feel that what I'm doing isn't right. Napatigil tuloy ako at hindi ko alam kung itutuloy ko pa.
I could just ask him, right?
I deleted his name but typed it again. Paulit-ulit na ganoon ang ginawa ko. There's a part of me that wanted to search informations about him. I'm sure that my computers won't fail me. Ilalabas noon ang lahat ng mga impormasyon na tungkol kay L. Hindi ko na sya kailangan pang tanungin. I would know if he's lying if I ask him.
Pero meron namang nagsasabi sa akin na itanong ko na lang sa kanya. There's something inside me that saying that L will tell me the truth. At magagalit sya kapag nalama nyang I searched info about him without his knowledge.
Nagpangalumbaba ako at tinitigan ang monitor na may pangalan nya. I really like his name. It sounds simple but it's still unique. Even his nickname is peculiar anyway.
Nasa gitna ako ng pag iisip kung anong gagawin nang nakarinig ako ng pagkatok sa nakasaradong pinto ng computer room ko. Bumukas iyon at iniluwa ang Queen kaya mabilis akong napatayo.
"Your Majesty..." I greeted her. Naglakad sya palapit sa akin with a smile on her face.
"Hello, Alter." she said. "Are you working again?"
Tumingin sya sa mga monitor kaya mabilis kong pinatay ang isa kung nasaan ang pangalan ni L. I saw the Queen's confusion by my sudden moves pero ngumiti na lang nang tumingin sa akin.
"What brings you here, Your Majesty?" I asked kahit na may ideya na ako sa kung anong pakay nya. Tumingin ako sa likod nya pero wala sina Enkidu at ang alaga nyang si Nergal. She went here alone.
