How to Survive in Maloray High

Lonely.

When I woke up at about twelve pm, I went to meet Daddy in his home office.

I pushed the door slightly open and met him typing away on his computer and jotting things down with his reading glasses perched on his nose.

"Daddy?" I whispered, my voice was hoarse from crying "I...I'm ready to talk now"

"Sorry sweetheart, I'm busy" Daddy said not looking up "There's a tub of ice cream in the freezer, you can have that"

I leaned on the door with a sigh "I don't...I don't want ice cream"

Immediately, Daddy turned around to face me, pulling his glasses off with a confused expression. "What?" He asked like I told him I was pregnant.

If I wasn't so depressed, I would have laughed, but right now, nothing was funny.

He got up and came to wrap me up in a hug "talk to me, honey" he said and I burst into more uncontrollable tears while I told him what happened.

"I hate seeing you like this, cherry blossom." Daddy said stroking my hair "I don't know what to do"

"I don't even know what to do with myself" I said between breaths.

"Well, I can make Nutella sandwiches and we can watch a horror movie?" Daddy asked and I looked up at him in surprise.

"That's amazing, I hate you!" I said hugging him again.

"I hate you too" he replied with a chuckle "so so much."

∆∆∆

Wilder

Saturday was the worst, I felt terrible when the sun rose like it was a normal day.

I wanted dark clouds or cold rain because that was just how I felt inside. Dark, cold and overwhelmed with sadnesses.

I barely slept at night, my heartache just wouldn't let me. This was much worse than the last time, I knew I had truly lost her.

She didn't love me, she never did.

After everything, even though I loved her more than anything, she didn't love me back.

I turned over in my bed and came face to face with the pillow she once slept on. I pictured the way she would pout and put her head under the pillow when it was too early to get up or even the small smiles she would give me when she was doing her homework on the bed.

I bit my lip hard to fight tears, I never should have made her stay for a week, we'd made too many memories during that period of time.

I sat up, shaking my head and rubbing my eyes with the heel of my palms.

Looking around my room I could see her everywhere; sitting at my table nodding her head to music, slouching on the bean bag chair watching a movie, staring out the huge window with a thoughtful expression, playing with our dogs with a huge grin on her face and they just kept coming, they wouldn't stop.

Finally, I let myself cry, I let the tears take over my body and I didn't stop even as I shook with sobs. The memories reminded me that they would only be memories and nothing else.

∆∆∆

I spent the rest of Saturday in my house, I was completely alone, Nana had gone out for some event since Friday morning so it was just me and Chilli.