Marigold

18

"Then..." he started. I felt his hand on my chin as he guided me so I can look at him. "Was it because of me?" those words came out as a whisper. It was as if he was having a hard time too. My lips quiver and my heart feel like it's about to burst.

Before I knew it, my hands reached for his neck as I hug him. I buried my face on his shoulder and I was crying once again.

He pulled me closer as he gently brushed my back as if trying to calm me down.

"I'm sorry baby... I'm sorry if I made you upset...sorry," he stopped what he was doing and just hugged me tighter.

"I miss you..." my heart clenches at his words. It was as if he was struggling like he was having a hard time too.

"You don't even know how hard it was not to keep myself from seeing you. But I don't want you to feel pressured. Seeing you with someone else made me realize how I am willing to let you go, as long as you will be happy..." he whispered. My eyes closed and I wanted to cry even more.

"I was trying to take my time, conditioning myself so I will be ready to see you holding someone else's hand again... I wanted to be ready if I'm going to let you go..." he added and I can no longer take it. I pulled away from him a little, my hands still in his neck while his hands were on my waist for support.

Why does he have those thoughts in him?

"Y-you said," I take a deep breath before speaking once again. "You said you were gonna court me. Why were you giving up?" I asked. He looked taken aback at my words. His lips parted and I noticed how red they were again.

"Well, I thought you liked him," he looked confused for a second before swallowing hard. "You allowed him to touch your hand and you even lied to me. You will never do that unless you really like him," he avoided my gaze and that made me bite my lip once again.

"So you avoided my calls and refused to see me? Do you even know how hard these days have been for me? I -" my voice cracked at the end and for a second, I wasn't able to speak. "I feel like going crazy because I can't see you. I miss you so much," finally, I was able to say those words.

I hugged him once again, unable to face him now.

"I'm sorry I lied. I didn't do it for him, or because I like him. He just held my hand and wouldn't let go. I was in a panic and when you called, I just couldn't say those words to you..." I admitted.

He pulled me away from me a little and tried meeting my gaze, "Why?" his voice softened and my gaze landed on his chest.

"I don't want you getting hurt..."

He was silent for a moment. None of us spoke and I wasn't sure what that silence meant for either of us.

"So...you were crying because you miss me?" he asked and I didn't hesitate to nod.

"And because I was jealous," I added, my voice was too small he had to lean closer and asked again.

I swallowed the huge lump on my throat before repeating my words. "Zammy said you were with a girl and she was video calling me. She said I can date someone now because you were dating someone else so I - I got jealous and cried,"

I saw him bit his lower lip and I was mesmerized.

"What you said at the villa, do you still feel the same. Do you not want me to be with someone else?"

I gulped.

What should I say?

He cupped my cheeks once again and made sure I was looking at him. That made me nervous even more.

"Are you jealous as my best friend, or is it more than that?"

My lips parted at his question and my heart was doing so many things inside my chest. It was so hard to focus especially since he was looking at me like that.

He was looking at me like he loves me...

Fuck.

"Will this help you decide?" he lean forward and kissed me on my forehead. My eyes closed automatically. It was a slow kiss like he was being careful and like I am so precious to him. Then he kissed me again, this time, on my left cheek...then to my right... And then the tip of my nose...

And then I felt it, his lips grazing the side of my lips... I felt my body shivering from that sudden contact.

My eyes opened and I saw his hooded eyes staring at me like he was pulling my soul outside...

And I understood right there and then...why I was acting this way... Why it hurts so much...

Before I knew what I was doing, my hands reached for his cheeks, cupping them like what he was doing on my own. And in a second, I crossed that little space between us and found my lips pressed into his.

He was startled by my action, but I didn't stop. I started moving my lips over his, his sweet taste making me go crazy.

And I knew, the reason why I was jealous...

It wasn't just because he was my best friend.