Random OneShots (Randy)

You asked me to change...

Dear Ryan,
                 By the time you read this letter I'll have already packed my bags and I'll have already have left, you're probably wondering why... Why after 5 years did I decide to leave.

Remember when you said you would always love me, on our 2nd anniversary your exact words were 'Andy no matter what I'll always love you, and only you', yeah it was just after our date we were walking along the beach hand in hand, you turned me around so I was facing you, you held both my hands in yours and those are the words you said.

So why did you stop?

I don't think you realised you did, I think you thought what you doing was love, but it wasn't...

When you said those words I thought you knew that that meant you loved me for who I am, but then you asked me to change, you asked me to change my hair colour, my style of clothes, my choice of friends, my hobbies, my job, my diet... Everything.

I don't know whether you did it because you thought it was for the best, or you did it just because, but either way it broke me, of course it did you were telling me to do things, to change things that I loved... for you.

I stayed with you because I loved you, I thought you'd stop asking after a while but you never did. Every week it was something new that you didn't like, every week it was another part of me that I had to get rid of or forget, for the sake of you and your needs.

I'm sorry if this makes you feel guilty or sad but I just couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't handle feeling like I wasn't enough that I needed to be more so I've decided that I can't take it anymore, your you're not good for me rye you're controlling and it's not fair.

So I love you and I always will but until you can find it in yourself to love me for me, I don't want to be with you anymore.

Please give me some time, after years of breaking parts of myself for you, I just need time to heal, to repair any damages, to go back to the man I used to be.

All the love in the world,
Andy X

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I know this is short, like really short... But i'm trying really hard to just get better myself, so time is all I ask for and then I'll be back to writing long, sad story's :)

Until next time,

Jess X