Random OneShots (Randy)

Addiction

An addiction isn't always good, but it's not always bad either.

I know that from experience.

Yes, I'm addicted, not to drugs or alcohol, I'm  addicted to something else or should I say someone else.

His name is Andrew Fowler, and let me tell you, he is beautiful.

He has fluffy blond hair, bright blue eyes and a cute little pointy nose, his cheeks are constantly a light shade of pink and when ever he smiles I swear it lights up the room, his dimples pop out and his eyes sparkle.

His favourite thing to do is go out early in the morning and watch the sunrise, it's because it reminds him of his mom who passed away when he was 13, they used to watch it together when he was younger.

I remember when it happened, he didn't come to school for six weeks because every time he tried to he'd have a break down, but he eventually came back. Everyone was so sympathetic towards him, not one person didn't give him their condolences, and when they did he would just give them a small sad smile showing his deep dimples in the sides of his rosy cheeks.

Now you may be wondering how I know this much and the answer to your question is simple, we used to be best friends. We were since the age of 5 ,when we met in reception, all the way up until we both turned 16. We stopped being friends because I pushed him away, I pushed him so far there was absolutely no way of getting him back. I pushed him because I couldn't take it, I couldn't take the constant nagging of my heart telling me to just go for it, go for it and kiss him, make him mine. I couldn't take the fact of knowing he never would be mine and having to sit back and watch as someone else stole his heart from his chest and replaced it with theirs.

So I pushed and pushed and pushed, until I knew for sure he wouldn't come back. At first it was good, I didn't see him at all, I thought he had already disappeared from my mind and I'd be able to carry on with my life. Oh how wrong was i. The day he came back to school I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, whereas he never even laid eyes on me.

You see even though we were best friends, he was friends with everyone and everyone was friends with him, I however only had him so when he was gone, I had no one. I never thought about that until I noticed my lunch table was empty and his wasn't, until I noticed I was walking by myself, while he always had someone by his side. At first I was angry, I thought it was because he'd told people things about me, to make them hate me. I know childish right. I eventually let that thought go though, it was Andy I was talking about and I know for sure he'd never do something like that. So I let it go.

After a while it got worse, I couldn't do anything without thinking about him first, I couldn't even sleep because he was always on my mind, everywhere I went, everything I did, he was always there in my head. I blamed it on missing him, missing the friendship we had, that I broke. I started regretting it every single day, wishing I could take it all back and dealt with my stupid feelings in a different way. But wishing did nothing but break me apart.

Couple weeks went by and my feelings were more stronger now then ever and I had no way of coping with it. I saw him everyday at school, with other people, talking, smiling, laughing. It wasn't fair, how come he got to go on with his life while I couldn't even deal with my own thoughts. My heart broke at the sight of him enjoying other people's company, when I was still sat at a table by myself. He was going on with his life enjoying it, not thinking twice about me, while he was the only thing on my mind.

It got so bad I couldn't stop the tears falling down face every time I saw him with other people. That's when I realised I wasn't just missing him, I was jealous, not of him of everybody else. I was jealous of whoever spoke to him or touched him or even looked at him. I couldn't help it, it's like I got so angry that I cried until my tears had run out for the day.