The Rice Pot Next Door

Untitled Part 1

An overdue 'hello' to everyone! I love the humor of Chinese writer 酒小七 Jiu Xiao Qi (fondly known as 'Seventh Brother' on the internet) and hope that you will also enjoy her latest novel entitled "The Rice Pot Next Door" as much as I do. This is a modern romance that has no heartbreaking angst, no corporate espionage, no birth secrets... just a sweet story of how one gorgeous associate prof fell in love with one gorgeous car sales woman – or is it the other way around?

The novel has a draggy start, so other than the first 2 chapters below, I'm going to quickly summarize the next few chapters before going into what I feel are the lovely chapters. This will not be word for word translation like and I may not always be able to bring across the jokes (too many phrases that do not have an English equivalent I'm sorry) but I will try my best.

Enjoy the read .... and do pardon my grammar mistakes, if any.

Chapter 1: Chance Meeting

In late spring, the northern sky is a patch of clear blue after being cleansed by a light drizzle.

Lan Shan (蓝衫, literal translation "blue shirt") is meeting her friend Xiao You Cai (小油菜 literal translation "Little Rapeseed Plant") to check out the newest exhibition in town. Traffic is bad and Lan Shan is relieved that she has chosen to walk, rather than take a bus or train to the venue when she sees the crawling traffic.

A cab next to her touts its horn and its young driver starts flirting with Lan Shan. She puts him down and threw a pebble at his window when he shows no sign of stopping. Thwarted, the cabbie slinks back to his car while Lan Shan continues her journey with a pretty toss of her head.

***

Lan Shan is the one who gave Xiao You Cai her nickname because she feels that the latter is too much of a whacko, aka "talent" (有才, pronounced "you cai", same pronunciation as the rapeseed ). The 2 arrive at "B City Sex Cultural Festival" and despite Lan Shan's initial reservations in attending an adult exhibition (isn't it all about XXOO despite its guise as a cultural festival?), she finds that there are indeed many things to see and learn like health tips, advertisements on diet supplements, sex toys, etc.

The exhibition venue is pretty big and is divided into several halls. They reach Hall D which features "Sex Toys", which is again very big and subdivided into several zones. As they marvel over some of the stuff of display, the 2 can't help but be amazed at the lack of (lower) boundaries of human creativity. They are not able to recognize some of the stuff but can generally figure out its usage after a vigorous round of brainstorming.

Then they reached the inflatable dolls section.

Lan Shan is surprised to find out that there are non-inflatable dolls in addition to inflatable dolls. Plus, non-inflatable dolls are generally more expensive than their inflatable cousins.

There are also some dolls that look really real. So real in fact, they can pass off as real people. Xiao You Cai points to a doll in a sexy pose at one corner and gushes indignantly: "Lan Shan, look! That doll cost RMB99,800! If someone has that kind of money to burn, why does that person need to buy this?"

As Lan Shan walks over to take a closer look at the doll's boobs, another doll caught her attention. This doll is sitting on a chair and is dressed in white shirt and brown pants. Its hair is cut very short and framed its face neatly. Its eyelids are lowered as if in thought. The doll looks fantastically real and if not for its blank glaze, she would have thought that this is a real person.

Come to think of it, there is no way a real person would look so pretty. Xiao You Cai has discovered the doll too and she shook Lan Shan's shoulder vigorously. "It is a man doll! Aw, they actually make man dolls?"