For someone really special ♥️

Jealousy

Catarina

Sipping my milkshake I look up at Kristina who still hasn't put her phone down since we arrived.

I know I shouldn't, but damn, how can I control the freaking sarcasm in this situation?

"Keep looking at your phone won't make her reply faster." My sound comes out way more harsh than I wanted.

Kristina finally lift her eyes from the phone and look at me confused. "What?"

At this I can't help it, I try, I try my best to control myself, but I just can't and I roll my eyes. "Karla. She won't reply your texts faster cause you keep holding your phone and expecting a text." She bite her lip nervously, but doesn't deny it, pff of course who in this freaking world am I trying to fool?

I stand up madly and throw some coins in the table. "That's for my milkshake, have fun texting your lovely friend." I slide my headphones on my ears and walk to the door with my hands in my pockets trying to hold the tears back. I won't cry, I simply won't.

****

I keep sit next to David eating his chips way faster than I should. "She was texting Karla the whole time, can you believe this?" He grabbed the chips from my hands and looked at me. "First, don't eat all my food, I'm going home late today, second, why is that a problem?" I rolled my eyes and grabbed one last chip. "First, fine fine, but if I die starving it's your fault, second it's a problem cause ughhhh, I just wanted to be with my best friend you know, sit with her, talk about Hero and how gorgeous he is, laugh with her, drink one of those big milkshakes with two straws for best friends, you know, and that apparently means nothing to her, she only cares about Karla and Karla and Karla, I guess I'm really the appendix of this relationship." I look down, tears starting to fill my eyes. "I wish she could understand how much I love her, you know, I wish I could be her first choice and I mostly wish I just meant as much for her as she means for me, I wish things could be like some summers ago, just Catarina and Kristina, no Karla, no Mariana, just us..." I clean some tears with the back of my jacket sleeve as David stroke my back and then he says in a calming voice. "She's your best friend okay? She loves you more than I love my food or a good ass in skinny jeans, you are her, offff I can't remember the name, Landon isn't it? From the books? Anyway, there will be many Karlas and many Marianas in your friendship, but you'll have to get used to it, there will always be little stupid things that will become big rocks and make you fight, there will be always some texts while you hang out, but, at the end of the day when you lay down on your bed you'll smile, cause you'll get it, maybe not now, but in the day you push your insecurities away, that she loves you, and you love her, more than anything in this world, more than Hardin loves Tessa, more than you love Diesel, more than I love a good gossip." He smiles softly at me and then says in a joking way. "Plus, I don't mind talking about how gorgeous Hero is with you." I roll my eyes and hit his chest. "Of course you had to ruin the cute moment with your gay crush on MY man." We both chuckle and I stand up. "But yeah, you are right, I guess this is the moment for me to stop being a jealous ass bitch, I'm going to talk to Kristina." I stole one of his chips before starting to walk and laugh a bit hearing him cursing.

*****

So this is it.

I balance on my ankles nervously and finally knock on the door, my hands shacking as I put them on my pockets and then Kristina opens the door.

Surprise taking over her face as she straights her body. "Hey, what are you doing here?" I let myself go down for the first time today and start crying. "I'm sorry, I really, reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy am, I didn't mean to be a bitch I just, I was, I ummmmmm, fuck it..." I look down and whisper quietly setting my pride aside. "I was jealous, and scared you'd replace me."

I wipe my tears in my jacket and look up at Kristina who's speechless, I guess any of us was expecting me to actually put all of this out here. "I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone, have a good rest of night." I turn around and start walking until I feel two arms tight around me. "Please don't leave, I'm begging you, you are my best friend and anyone will ever change it, you are mine and I'm yours, forever." I smile, turn around and hug her back, this was all I had to hear, this was all I needed to stop my jealousy, cause, no matter how much Kristina and Karla have gone through already, she was never the one lucky enough to hear this words coming out of Kristina mouth, Kristina was my best friend, my life, my oxygen, my weirdo, my crazy bitch, my favorite idiot, my Lara Jean, my Tessie, my crazy-with-Jo-boobs person, and anyone or anything would ever change it, cause Jesus, I guess I can say God name for this and it won't be worthless, for the love of the big and powerful God, this girl was my best friend, and even if things between us one day end, when my kids ask me who was the most important person of my life when I was a teen I'll say, proud and with a big smile "it was Kristina, she showed me what love was and I couldn't be more thankful for being lucky enough to have the pleasure to be the one she called Best Friend once."