This book is a daily chronicle of wandering elf events... better known as, elfvents amongst the learned knowers who persist in the knowing of such things.
Through the forest flew Virginians, old and new The sounds of hooves Like distant thunder Putting risk of harm asunder Summoned by old Vlad All of them Western Clad
Then dazzling on a fine white stallion Beauty beyond compare, Yes, riding not upon a mare' 'Twas the representative of the audience in general She gave a sideways look t'wards Vlad, the not so venerable And said, 'he's a bit moth eaten for a nice story and doesn't cover himself in glory I suppose it's on account of the cheap budget
I'm not sure I approve of him Nor all these sacrifices I hope some men applied Caus equality's alive Even if Vlad is not'
'Well Said'' Elf responded And produced a bunch of daffodils Freshly picked by Tailgate Till 'We are very glad you visit And share your precious minutes with us'
'Oh please don't make a fuss I'm on my way, I need to catch a bus I'm off to Adelaide'
Gus replied, 'farewell good maid'
Inca Dinka had a poison dart He was about to let it loose But Anna Gram nudged at the pipe And Inca Dinka lost a tooth He near jumped through the roof
Then it occurred to Barbie Kew That if Vlad got a virgin The next thing he would do Is wrap his jaws around her neck And that virgin would be curtains
So she took the clipboard Quickly checked the applicants job specs
'I'm going to announce to you The winner of this contest So much better than the rest Your virgin victim's Barney Bus'
Short Fred came up for air And Mable, legs a little unstable Said, 'well I never would have guessed' Then disappears back under table
'I say', said Barney, 'how did you know.'
'Nothing ever curls your toes' Was Barbie Kew's reply Besides you are expendable And lady virgins shouldn't die!! '
Vlad said, Ive been had' This really is too bad'
Barney said, 'you might have been But I have not, nor will I be'
Vlad replied most crossly, And you won't be had by me' He conjured up another plan He always batted dangerously
Then Reckless Sam exclaimed to all 'I've dug down to this great big hall The hall of the mountain king I can hear some large thing snoring'
Vlad who often played with death Exclaimed, 'And that smells like dragon's breath'
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