Elf Chronicle 2019

Happy New Year... A Christmas Carol of the Finest Kind

Christmas Carol 

Dressed up in her gay apparel 

Down the road sped Christmas Carol 

Tinsel wrapped around her head 

Chewing on a piece of gingerbread 

'Greetings greetings, seasons cheer 

Would you like a gin or a pint of beer' 

Christmas Carol hugged her mum 

'I'd like a rum pum pum per pum pum' 

Granny said, 'I remember when 

You and your sister were little children' 

She used to tug poor old dolly's hair 

And you pulled off the ears of her teddy bear' 

'Now now', mum said, 'here's your present 

It's a pretty picture of a Chinese pheasant' 

'Mum 'tis wonderful', daughter replied 

Through tightly clenched teeth, Christmas Carol lied 

'Here for you Gran is box for your teeth 

Meticulously made of artificial gold leaf' 

'Well that's super, thank you very much 

I'll keep in in the cupboard with my bed pan and crutch' 

'Marvellous Mum here's a scuba diving set 

You swim like a fish and you're always getting wet' 

Christmas Carol's mum whispered, 'that's caus your fella 

Ran off with dirty Gerty and my pink umbrella' 

'Let's pull a cracker, let's eat some foods 

Sometimes the jokes can be funny and lewd' 

Christmas Carol bit a great chunk from a leg 

But the turkey needed cooking, it was still pretty red 

'Let us all be thankful, just like Tiny Tim 

And listen to the queens speech', Christmas Carol grinned 

'God bless you all', said the monarch regally 

So they all thanked the Lord and the Angel on the tree. 

🎄🎄🎄

Steve
@silenttomorrows