Eenie Meenie Minie Mo

Chapter Thirty-Seven

  If I thought I’d ever have a chance, I would get married to Josh Ramsay in five seconds flat; if it even took me five seconds. Pretty much I spent the entire weekend listening to Marianas Trench, and when that wasn’t enough I watched only all the videos and the making of the videos.

  And, when that wasn’t enough….I watched a Justin Bieber music video. And then went back and watched the “Baby” music video to get the awful sight of him wearing lip gloss and singing like a gangsta douche bag in “Boyfriend”. You know, he was really annoying at first because he was just a stupid kid with girly hair singing about crap he couldn’t possibly know about. Now he was just a poser. And a tool.

  That was the weekend. I skipped school Monday. Chicken shit, I know. I just didn’t wanna deal with it. Jason and Kaitlyn were leaving this week, and I just didn’t wanna deal with whatever other antics Leander had up his sleeve. I’d tortured myself enough the entire weekend as it was. I’d be damned if I gave what happened at the reception another thought. It wasn’t fair to Sawyer. He deserved better.

  When I’d finally braved the halls of school Tuesday, Leander wasn’t around. His absence lasted the entire week. If he was feeling embarrassed and rejected, I’d call that poetic justice. Apologies be damned. I was pretty much choosing to not believe anything he’d said that night. He was drunk. He’d say anything to get in my pants. Maybe I was being too harsh, too stubborn; but it was all I had right now. He was not getting inside my head again. No way.

  And then there was Sawyer. He didn’t bring up what he’d said that night the whole week. I think he was waiting for me to say something, but I honestly had no idea what to say to that. I’d told Leander I loved Sawyer. So why couldn’t I tell Sawyer himself how I felt? It was all getting too confusing. There was pressure where there hadn’t been before. Things were more serious and I could feel the shift in our relationship. Sawyer wanted more—more than I had really ever given. He didn’t need to say it for me to know it. I was stupid to have not seen it before.

  What I should have done was go to my mom or Maddie and confide in them these thoughts in my head that were bound to drive me crazy. But I didn’t. I suffered through the week, forcing a smile when I wanted to just hide in the broom closet or bathroom until the bells rang out. When I got home, I’d stay in my room doing nothing but thinking.

  When Sawyer called that Friday afternoon, I almost didn’t answer it. But, after a few rings, I finally picked up.

  “Hey, stranger,” he said lightly. “I feel like I haven’t talked to you this whole week.”

  I sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just really distracted. My brother’s going back to California and….I don’t like it. I mean, I spent most his trip not speaking to him. It kills me that he has to go back.”

  I felt a little bad about misleading Sawyer, but there was no way I could let on how much his statement haunt me, or the new situation with Leander.

  “At least the two of you made up at the end,” he pointed out. “Better than him leaving and you both still fighting.”

  “You do have a point. Mom and I are driving up there pretty soon to go say goodbye.”