Long Live || Narnia one shots

Forgiveness

"Really Peter, I'm fine."
Peter sighed as he watched his brother walk slowly out of the room, adjusting the crown on his head as he did.
It had been exactly a year since the defeat of the white witch, and Peter could tell Edmund was struggling. But he didn't know why he didn't just tell someone. For the past week he'd been keeping everything locked away, not telling anyone what was obvious, and Peter didn't know what to do.
The nightmares had come back too, and even though Edmund was always up for a hug whenever he woke up screaming, he never told anyone what he was dreaming about, not one single detail. Peter only knew it was about the witch because Edmund always mumbled or cried out in his sleep.
He'd tried and tried to get his brother to tell him what was wrong - even Susan and Lucy had tried - But he never said a word, just kept trying to persuade everyone that he was fine. But Peter wasn't stupid.
After a few moments of staring at the door his brother had just left through he walked across the room and left himself, intending to find his brother and ask him - once again - what the matter was.
He walked through the castle, checking around every corner, checking in every room, but he couldn't find Edmund.
After a while he made his way out into the gardens. The sun shone warmly in the sky, birds singing as they flew from tree to tree. Peter sighed slightly, looking around. After not spotting his brother he walked through the gardens, making sure to look behind every tree. He was used to Edmund hiding like this, whenever he'd get upset or something Peter would always find him hiding, sometimes in some of the hardest to get to places.
Luckily this time Edmund was only sat with his back against a tree, his legs drawn up to his chest and his head rested on his knees. Peter bit his lip slightly as he silently sat down beside him, deciding to let Edmund talk first, which he knew he would.
"I said I'm fine Peter." He mumbled after a long while, not looking at his brother.
"Edmund everyone knows that you're not fine." Peter said calmly, watching the leaves of the tree sway in the slight breeze.
Edmund shifted slightly, taking a deep breath.
"What I don't get is why it's so hard to just admit it." Peter added after a few minutes silence.
Edmund sighed, not saying anything at all.
Peter moved his stare to his brother, knowing him well enough to know he'd say something any minute. But what he said made Peter frown.
"Why did you forgive me?" He whispered.
Peter just stared at him, looking rather confused. "What do you mean?" He asked after a while.
Edmund sighed. "Why did you forgive me?" He repeated, but he then added. "I b - betrayed you."
Peter took a deep breath, swallowing hard as Edmund finaly looked at him.
"Is that what's been bothering you?" He breathed.
Edmund shrugged. "Partly." He mumbled.
Peter bit his lip. "Ed - look." He sighed. "What's done-"
"Don't say "What's done is done" Peter." Edmund cut him off. "I just want a straight forward answer. Why did you forgive me?"
Peter stared at him for a moment before biting his lip. "You're my brother Ed." He said. "I love you."
Edmund looked back down at the floor, struggling to keep the tears at bay. "How can you love me?" He choked. "I almost got you all killed! And for what? Some sweets?!" He was staring at his brother again, eyes wide and full of unshed tears.
Peter gave him a sad look. "Enchanted sweets Edmund." He corrected his brother. "You didn't exactly have a choice."
Edmund sighed, looking away again. 
"And you more than made up for it." Peter choked after a short while of silence.
"Nothing I ever do will make up for what I did to you and the girls." Edmund said rather firmly.
Peter sighed in annoyance, but stared at his brother sadly. "That's not true Edmund." He said quietly.
"Peter-"
"You saved my life and it almost cost you yours." Peter forced out, cutting him off. "I think that more than makes up for what you did."
Edmund looked back up at Peter. "I couldn't let her hurt you." He said slowly. "Not when I knew what she could do to people."
Peter nodded. "I understand Ed." He said softly. "But you almost died!"
Edmund hesitated, knowing Peter wasn't going to like what he was going to say next. "And that's what I deserved." Just as he expected Peter's mouth dropped open and his eyes went wide. "Don't you ever say that again!" He said firmly.
"You heard what the witch said!" Edmund replied. "I was supposed to die on the stone table! Me! A traitor!" He took a deep breath. "Not Aslan." He added in barely more than a whisper.
Peter sighed. "That's another thing that's bothering you?" He guessed.
Edmund nodded slowly. "Why did he do it?" He asked. "Why did he give his life, for me?"
Peter smiled sadly. "Because he loves you." He said. "And he forgave you."
Edmund stared at his brother, sighing as he once again turned away. 
"Edmund, you need to stop beating yourself up about all this." Peter sighed. "It was a year ago! A whole year! You've grown so much in that year. You're no longer mean and selfish Ed. No longer a traitor. You're kind, loyal, trustworthy."
Edmund slowly turned his head back to his brother, tears once again appearing in his eyes.
"You're brave and courageous." Peter continued. "You've got a big heart." He smiled slightly at his brother, placing a hand on his shoulder. "And you are forgiven."
Edmund glanced at Peter's hand on his shoulder before looking up into his brothers eyes, bright blue eyes filled with tears.
"Do you really think that?" Edmund choked.
Peter nodded. "Of course I do." He smiled.
Edmund let out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding and wrapped his arms around his brother's neck, burying his face into his shoulder.
Peter wrapped his arms tightly around Edmund, pulling him so close he was almost sat in his lap.
"Does that feel better?" Peter asked. "Telling someone instead of keeping it all locked away inside?"
Edmund hesitantly nodded. "Yeah." He choked, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Just remember from now on that you don't have to keep it inside." Peter said. "I'm always here if you need to talk. Like I tried to tell you in winter."
Edmund sighed guiltily. "Sorry." He mumbled. "It's just, after a few weeks after the witches death, the nightmares and all stopped, and I didn't expect them to come back when winter hit."
Peter nodded. "I understand that." He said. "You thought it was over."
"I wanted it to be over." Edmund sighed.
"I know - Eddy." Peter choked.
Edmund slowly pulled away, looking slightly shocked, but in a happy way. "Eddy." He whispered. "You haven't called me that for years."
Peter chuckled, kissing the top of Edmund's head as Edmund buried his face back into his shoulder.
"Might use it more often." Peter smiled.
Edmund laughed. "I suppose I could get used to it." He whispered.
"You better." Peter laughed.
Edmund laughed again, tightening his grip around his brother. "Love you Pete." He whispered.
Peter smiled. "I love you too." He whispered back. There was a few moments silence before: "Never ever forget Eddy." Peter said. "You are loved more than you'll ever know. And you are forgiven."

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