Long Live || Narnia one shots

Forever

Prompt 4/April: Forever

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It's not something you forget easily, or ever actually.

That image will always be in the back of your mind, showing it's ugly face when you least expect it.

It will give you nightmares, cause you to wake up screaming in the dead of night, unable to calm down until you know it was just a dream... well, that time.

Because in truth, it wasn't actually a dream, it had happened, happened on that dreaded, awful day that you will never be able to forget.

The worst part though, is you blame yourself. 

It's your fault it happened.

You're fault you couldn't stop it.

It was your fault that he is now scarred for life, traumatised over what happened to him on that day.

You blame yourself for his nightmares, blame yourself whenever he wakes, screaming in the middle of the night, a look of pure terror on his paper white face.

You look at that face, and guilt hits you like a ton of bricks, because you know, you tell yourself deep down that you should've protected him, should of looked after him, and whenever you remember that day, you are unable to hide the guilt, the shame that wells up inside you, because it's all your fault.

You should've stopped her from doing that to him. Stopped her in any way possible, but you couldn't, and that is where you believed you failed... failed at being the big brother you promised you'd be.

The one that protected his siblings from harm, kept them safe, and you failed all in the space of a few seconds, as you watched him fall, you knew you'd failed him.

You carry the guilt around with you like a heavy bag weighing you down, and no matter how many times he tells you that it wasn't your fault, you just can't rid yourself of that guilt, because he means everything to you, he's your whole life, he's your everything, and that was almost all destroyed in the space of a minute.

The days following that day were the worst for you, every time you so much as closed your eyes, all you could see was his paper white face, his blood pooling below him... and below you too, for it was everywhere.

You threw up more than once, and on top of that looked after him like it was the last day you'd ever spend together.

You worked yourself to exhaustion, him having to eventually force you into bed and sit with you until you finally fell asleep... but only to wake a few hours later, screaming his name over and over again until he came, soothed you despite being in pain himself, because he cared for you, even after what you thought you'd done.

It got better over time, that day usually staying far in the back of your mind, and you were so, so glad of it, because that memory brought you more pain that you'd ever let on to anyone, especially him.

That day caused you pain, tears, guilt and heartbreak, and whilst you know it has a happy ending, it still doesn't make that moment any better.

That moment when you thought he'd died. That moment when you thought you'd lost him... lost him for good.

The moment you swung around to see him, stood in front of her, a look of terror spread across his face.

The second the scream of his name was ripped from your throat, the second you watched him fall, your whole world shattered, and that is a feeling you won't ever forget.

It's too heartbreaking.

It never should've happened, You tell yourself that almost every day, but you also tell yourself that no matter how much you want to, you can never change the past.

But for just once, you wish you could.

Because your little brother being stabbed, is an imagine you will remember... forever.

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Well that was... emotional.
Yes even a prompt of "forever" I can turn angsty 😏🤣
Anyways, let me know what you thought, love you xox