I'm thiry-three, I live next to a fairground, and I'm trying to make the best of my situation no matter what. So, I bought a polaroid camera and I was going to try and create some good memories, but...
There are no good memories in my life, not anymore. I can only remember the bad ones.
Like that night...
On a quiet and still night, strange sounds could be heard up and down Roxton Boulevard.
"Where were you?" I asked.
"I don't know, I woke up drugged," said Jasquin.
"Did you hear about what happened to Rodriguez?"
"No, what?"
"He hurt his leg again while playing soccer."
"Oh, that sucks! He was going to be an excellent athlete."
I went through some kind of metamorphosis. I had never seen Jasquin look like that, the way she was looking at me, and the way that she looked at me for the rest of that night. There wasn't much else of anything going on afterwards, except some odd dancers dancing in the street. These people scared Jasquin and me. We didn't know who they were, we had never seen them before, and they certainly had on these exotic outfits with bells that terrified us. They sounded sinister; you should have listened to it, it was really creepy.
We walked into a red tent nearby a carnival that was going on. I should mention here that one of the dancers was the mother of the other dancers' friend who was working at the carnival that year. I guess she knew somebody in the tent who was making homemade lollipops at the time. I sensed something was wrong when this man stepped into the light and found out later that the dancer the mother was dancing with was actually a trans named "Popps." Also, I speculated that they were walking around the carnival putting on free shows; whenever we saw this their dancing made Jasquin and me giggle.
The trans stepped up to us and said to Jasquin, "Come on, I won't make you cum." I think that is what he said. I was angry that she left me with this crazy dancer, and the mother too. She, Popps and the mother went into a back room in the tent which was just closed off by purple curtains for privacy. However, the drapery didn't shield me from what was going on. For a while there was nothing but silence, but then I could tell she was very uncomfortable.
At this moment, I don't know why, but I was reminded of Vanessa Williams. She was in a store shopping for sauces to make homemade chili for her and her friends. Vanessa later told me that she was assaulted by a guy in the store. She assured me it was unintentional, and the man who caused her such grief was unstable. She was under the impression he was deluded, later calling him, "that psychopath... that narcissistic...," and beginning all of her sentences that way. I questioned her sanity; she was always very paranoid about people and what they might have been thinking of her. I think she was creative but sometimes too quick to judge people and drew conclusions too soon. When I said she was creative, I meant it. She had brought a toy keyboard home one day that she found in the trash, smashed it all up and made a wind chime out of all the keys; it was very clever.
I was getting up from the dirty place I was sitting on, more like squatting and lifting myself up by holding on to the tent rope for support, when I heard a sound, like footsteps.
Then she walked up to me. Jasquin was out of there, "Thank God!" I thought. I was elated to find she was all right.
"What took you so long?" She asked me in a whimpering, drawn out voice. "Sorry for waiting for you, my friend," I answered sarcastically.
"I saw Johnny, and girl let me tell you he was in poor shape. I'm really scared of these people. Your brother told me what's been happening here. Let's leave right away okay?"
"Okay, Jassie, we'll go then."
"That guy Popps showed me a stack of cash in his hand."
"Yeah!"
"Ya? He was like, 'Do you want to know where this came from?'"
"What else? Jasquin, tell me!"
Then she collapsed and felt very sick. "What is it Jassie?"
"What he said. I can't...I can't... It hurts too much to talk about it Evelynn. I hate this hell. Why does every situation seem like hell?"
"I know, let me take you home," I said, trying to calm her. She wasn't hysterical, but close to it. I only wished I had some water or some ice to soothe her cheeks and brows. My poor friend looked emaciated and had a shameful look on her face now.
We walked away from the glimmering lights of the carnival, only a few hundred feet from where we were, where now there was a big sign that read, 'Ohio's Biggest Fairgrounds'.
I hugged my friend and walked her back to her house on Roxton Boulevard.
