With Love, Comes the Pain

Darkness

Shinsou was bad with interacting with people. Scratch that. He only knew how to interact with Midoriya and the elderly owner of the preschool that was very exasperated with Midoriya's antics.

Actually, he had no idea how to even interact with that old man that took care of him for three days under Midoriya's request, and Shinsou was very sure there was also some kind of exchange in money. The old man was wary around him, Shinsou knew that much. He did give him food, and kept and eye on him, and Shinsou did his very best to behave and not do anything wrong, but honestly, unlike Midoriya, who was very open with his physical and verbal cues and wouldn't hestitate to tell him if he did something wrong, the elderly preschool owner was reserved. He never knew if he was supposed to eat, wait until he finished eating before starting, or was supposed to take his meal somewhere else to eat.

It stressed him out. So every time he got a negative reaction out of anyone, he assumed it was wrong. But he was just getting himself hopelessly confused. Using a pencil made everyone stay as far away as possible from him. Was that wrong? It had to be wrong, right? So he used a crayon. Still, no one went near him. So that must be wrong too.

Returning a pair of scissors to the teacher when it had fallen out of her bag? The teacher looked so pale when she saw the cutting instrument in the child's grasp, she snatched it right out of his hands and ordered him back to the classroom, looking at him like he was going to murder her or something.

What was right? What was wrong?

Everything was wrong.

Shinsou didn't know anymore. Was helping people bad? Was hurting people good? Why did he always get a negative reaction when he didn't do anything wrong, but when the others used to bully him, all the other children were all happy and smiling?

He wanted to ask Midoriya. Midoriya would always tell him whatever he wanted. But Shinsou knew the older child was preoccupied at the moment, and didn't want to bother him when he could see the exhaustion and feel the overwhelming emotions of anger and guilt whenever the older came to visit. So he swallowed his questions. They could wait until Midoriya sorted the matters with the house out.

It was a relief when Midoriya barged into the old man's office one day, declaring that everything was done and he was taking Shinsou with him. Finally, being with the only person that cared about him simply because he loved him, and for no other reason. That was one of the reasons why Shinsou loved Midoriya so much. As his older brother, as the only person who understood him, who took him in despite what everyone else in the world said. Who still loved him unconditionally even with all the rumours floating around the two of them. But Shinsou knew those weren't the main reasons why he loved his older brother. He didn't know the real reason. Maybe because they were family?

That seemed like a valid reason.

Emotions were complicated. No one could explain them. Emotions were irrational.

Especially love. But love was good.

Shinsou knew Midoriya was a rational person. He rarely acted on his emotions, reigning them in all the time, rendering him emotionally exhausted all the time from hiding all his anger at the world.

But Midoriya never repressed his emotions around Shinsou. He knew when he was sad, was angry, was upset, and most important of all, when he was happy.

And Shinsou liked it whenever he helped Midoriya do something, or after Midoriya would rant about some idiot or some other things until he calmed down, and smiled, cuddling Shinsou as they both sat quietly together. He made Midoriya happy, and Shinsou was happy too.

Family was nice, Shinsou decided.

But with the love, came the pain.

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