Expectations

Chapter 46

I watch as raindrops stick to the window, falling and catching the light of a nearby lamppost outside. It's like weather knows this is my last day with Alex.

"Hey," Alex says, lightly nudging my foot with his under the white cloth table to gain my attention.

I tear my gaze from the window to look at his face in the soft glow of the restaurant. He looks tanner, and I can see the reflection of the flame of the candle on the table dancing in his eyes.

God he's beautiful. I try to soak up every detail to burn it to my memory.

"You ok? You've been acting a little off all day." He reaches over to grab my hand, rubbing the pad of his thumb over the back of it.

"Yeah, I'm good. Really good." I smile. It's not an utter lie.

Today was one of the best days I've ever had. Alex and I have been talking about exploring Amsterdam ever since he got me my flower here for my birthday.

It was a beautiful day with perfect weather. We got up early to ride bikes around town, stopped for lunch at a cute little cafe, and walked along the river hand in hand afterwards. Today has been absolutely perfect despite the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing I have to leave tomorrow. For the most part, I've been able to push down those gut wrenching feelings to let myself enjoy the little time I have left with him.

There's no show tonight so Alex insisted on taking me out to a nice dinner. He even bought me flowers, dressed up, the whole nine yards.

"Today has been perfect," he murmurs, reading my thoughts. Just then, a waiter comes by with the check. "I'm going to get this and how about you go call us a car," he suggests.

"Ok," I stand up from the table to go to the front lobby. Before I can pass the table, Alex grabs my wrist, pulling me back to him. He's still seated, head tipped back to look up at me, an expectant look on his face.

With a smile, I bend down and place a kiss to his lips, lingering there for a while, but apparently not long enough. When I pull back Alex grins, chasing my lips with his.

"I'll see you in the lobby," I whisper against his lips, leaving him with one more soft peck.

"Ok." He lets out an adorable huff, and there's slight pout on his face.

I giggle and go to the front of the restaurant to call a car to come pick us up. While waiting for Alex, I stare out the window, watching the rain patter against the streets. Its then that it all hits me. That these are my last few hours with the boy I've fallen in love with. My heart hurts and I feel sheer sadness and guilt course through me.

What am I doing?

A familiar pair of hands grab my hips, pulling me back to rest against their warm, firm chest, and I will myself to relax.