Chapter 4.

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I stayed in bed all of Saturday and half of Sunday. Calling in sick to avoid going to work. If sleeping had been difficult before it was literally impossible now. All I could do was stare at the ceiling and pretend to sleep whenever Brian peaked inside my room. Every six hours or so he would come into my room with a new plate of food that I wouldn't touch. I wasn't even hungry. He was probably worried about me, but he would just have to be worried for a while longer while I tried to get myself back together. The anger was the only thing that kept me from breaking down completely. The anger held me together as I tried to build myself up again. A deep fear lingered like a shadow behind me. Every time I let my guard down it would creep into my thoughts and stir me up all over again.

"Okay, kid..." Brian sighed as he came into my room around noon. "I think you've been enough of a shut-in... you're coming to the grocery store with me..."

"No, I'm not..." I mumbled. My voice was weak and raspy. I sounded like a sleepy smoker.

"Come on Mickey..." He groaned and pulled my comforter off. I moaned in annoyance and tried to pull it back over me but Brian threw it across the room. "Get up." He ordered.

"Brian, seriously I feel like absolute trash and I don't wanna go outside right now..."

"Then tell me why you're feeling like this. There's gotta be something I can do..." He said and sat down next to me, moving me to the side of the bed.

"I don't wanna talk about it..." I grumbled, hiding my face in my arms as I pulled my knees up to my chest, holding them tightly.

"Did Kennedy do something?"

"No..."

"Did I do something?"

"No..."

"Did something happen at the party?"

"...no..." I stuttered. The tears were burning in my eyes.

"Mickey..." Brian said and nudged my arm. His voice was soft and concerned. It soothed me and I carefully looked up at him, eyes swarming with tears.

"I fucked up..." I whimpered and threw myself against Brian's chest. He embraced me in an instant, holding me tightly as I sniffled.

"What happened?" He cooed.

"I..." The words stopped in my throat where they got stuck, fighting to get out. "I slept with this guy and he..." My hiccuped sob interrupted me and I clenched onto Brian's shirt. Usually, he got mad when I did that since he said that it stretched his clothes but he just rubbed my back.

"He came in you?" He asked.

I nodded frantically against Brian's chest and he rubbed my back. We remained like that for a few minutes before he slowly moved me away from him and looked into my eyes.

"How long ago?"

"I uh..." My brain curled into a ball in my head, refusing to do the math as I shook my head, begging it to start working. "I don't know!" I whimpered. "Friday night..."

"Okay... then it's not too late to take a plan b pill..."

I stopped crying for a moment as Brian mentioned the pregnancy prevention pill. It could be used up until four days after unprotected sex and I quickly looked up at my roommate. It hadn't even been forty-eight hours yet.

"We're going to the grocery store." I spat and flung myself out bed.


I scurried out of the car and sprinted into the pharmacy across the street. It was empty and the young cashier looked up at me with a surprised look.

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