The List

#9: make out with that cute guy at that raging party

The only two people who could stand me at this moment stood on each side of me as we got closer and closer to security letting people into the party, and the longer we stood, the more sure I was that this party was not where I belonged.

I wasn't wanted here, I wasn't wanted in this house that I had a key to, a room that was given to me for my birthday. There was a burn of tears as I stared at the house I once could call home.

Henry kissed the side of my head. "Stop freaking out Alice, let's forget about everyone and just have fun."

I shrugged off his hold, fun? I just wanted to survive the night.

"Names?" The security guard asked as we came to the front of the line.

"It's the Black family," Angelica spoke up with so much strength, I felt envious. She looked beautiful tonight, a gold dress framing her perfect figure. She was welcome here, she was loved by everyone, and I immediately felt even worse.

I ruined her relationship with Eros.

Tearing my eyes from her, I looked at the list in the guard's hand reading, 'Alice and Angelica Black +2 guests'. I felt better seeing that it wasn't just Angelica's name there, that I still held enough of Ryder's heart to be on the list.

The security guard nodded us in, and the three of us stepped forward into the intricately decorated house. It felt like a scene pulled straight from The Great Gatsby from the intense casino like tables and glittering champagne glasses that were strewn across every free surface.

A waiter walked up to us as we ventured further into the unrecognizable house, offering us each crystal glasses filled with bubbling yellow liquid. "Drink?"

I gave the waiter a soft smile and grabbed one, downing it in one gulp.

It was apple cider.

Through I wasn't surprised, I was definitely disappointed. There was one thing I knew for sure about tonight, I was not surviving without at least being tipsy. Placing the empty glass back on the tray, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, deserting Angelica and Henry right then and there, in search of hard liquor, my body knowing exactly where to lead me.

Ryder caught my eye across the living room and I saw him excuse himself, his brow furrowed with a slight downturn of his lips.

"Hey Alice!" He tried to cover his apparent disappointment with excitement and even he knew that I saw through it. Nevertheless he pulled me into a tight hug, rubbing my back softly in the way Ryder only did.

I missed his hugs, and I succumbed to him, my body melting against his as he embraced me tightly. "Hey birthday boy," I said softly on his suit jacket, my body without consent watering my eyes. I blinked rapidly as we pulled away.

Ryder didn't notice.

"Is Angelica here? Did she bring anyone?" He asked, not looking at me, searching for my sister in the crowd behind me.

I looked down, feeling more out of place than ever. "Yeah she's here, she didn't bring anyone though, the boy she's dating luckily got his own invitation to your party."

"Fantastic!" He exclaimed. "I hope you don't mind me asking if you avoid Claire, Luna, and Eros like the plague tonight, Luna was putting up such a front that you were still coming tonight and it took me forever to persuade her that you aren't a menace to society," he joked with me but his mind was elsewhere, I could see it in every part of him, he was dying to get away from me.