You looked through the window with mixed emotions. Everytime the sun started to go down, you were prepared for the best and the worst.Your life resembled of a vicious circle, but even though you were aware of this fact, you didn't have strenght to break free. The amusing point was that, the sun reminded you of yourself so much. At first it goes up, looking down at the world, but as the time passes by, it drops down, melts in the skies.
The same was with his words. The reason you internally suffered was a bunch of letters, held together, coming out of those forbidden lips. But somehow, you weren't able to hear them as naturally as you had used to before. Every time you saw the sun coming down, you knew, you'll hear the same sweet lies, which have been making your limbs weak for years.
Suddenly the phone rang, breaking your stream of reflections. You hesitated, biting your lip hardly. Your heartbeat merged with the sound, making it hard to resist. You reached for the phone and answered it with trembling hands.
'Hello?' You asked trying to control your voice, but you actually didn't have to. He knew.
'I miss you.' He said with the same, blank tone. You wished it was the first time, you've heard it, but it couldn't have been helped. You had to listen to this tone on repeat, every night.
'Can I come over?' He asked causing your mind to scream. It wanted to reject his offer, but your heart told something else. You agreed and pushed the hang-up button.
'I hate it so much, but what can I do?' you asked yourself, getting up and unlocking the door, so he can come in anytime. His presence had always been a relief to you, but is it now?
After an eternity, you heard the quiet steps sounding in your hallway. You looked at the clock, it was only half an hour later. Why did it seem like years passing by? Your legs rolled up right to your chin started to ache. It gave the feeling of an urge to run away or was it just excitement?
You raised your head and met his gaze. Here he was, standing in front of you with the same facial expression, light brown hair styled the way you've always liked it, eyes dimmed.
'Jimin' you casually said his name, which felt so sweet coming out of your mouth. Your heart grew big anytime you saw him, but your face kept the blank look. He smiled this empty smile you knew too well and took a few steps in your direction.
'I missed you.' He repeated and immediately embraced you with his strong arms. When you first felt them around you, you felt powerful and safe, knowing that he will protect you. Why did it have to turn out this way?
'You saw me last night.' You answered breathing in his winsome scent.
'A day has to many hours, I was longing.' Stated Jimin backing a few centimetres away and observing your unchanging face. At this moment, you've already knew what was going to happen right after, but the temptation was too hard to resist.
'I always think that today is the last time but it's not that easy.' You whispered, gathering the strength and looking into his eyes. In these eyes you had used to see a promise of love, but now, they were completely inert.
'Don't say this.' He took your cold hand, breath becoming heavy. The room was embraced with darkness, as the sun has already went down. Together with you.
You felt the familiar weight charging your body, when he pushed you to lay down on the bed. His lips found yours, claiming you yet again. You responded to the kiss, dragging your hands up his back to tangle them in his soft hair. Jimin's fingers started to move smoothly around your bare sides, causing shivers to go through your spine.
'I missed you.' He whispered again in between the kiss and soon slid his lips down your jaw, to your neck. He always knew how to make you feel weak, how to make you give up to him entirely. The words he constantly repeated meant nothing after such a long time, but still had a big impact on you.
The urge to say something, anything, was felt, but even if you opened your mouth, you couldn't give out the slightest noise. You closed your eyes and recalled the countless nights, during which, every movement was the same.
Jimin sucked on your sweet spot, while roaming his hands around your limp body. You arched your back to feel him closer, but it didn't change the cold feeling. You were so close, but so far away.
'I love you' He whispered into your ear suddenly. Your eyes glazed with tears, as you were longing to hear it for years. Why did it still feel empty?
Jimin's lips started to kiss down your body, living a wet trail, until he felt the soft fabric of your underwear. His fingers slowly gripped the sides of it and slid it down your legs. His gaze rose to meet your wet face. It didn't even have a effect on him anymore. Seeing you cry was ordinary. The corners of his lips lifted in outwardly reassuring manner. You cupped his cheeks and dragged him closer, kissing his lips, swirling your tongue around his.
His hands lifted your back from the couch gently to unhook your bra, throwing it away a few seconds later. You let him move away slowly, a thin thread of saliva linking your lips. It broke apart as vaguely as your relationship. His clothes landed on your underwear as he hovered over you once again.
With a kiss on your lips, he entered you in one swift movement. You scratched his back, breathing out his name. The familiar feeling should make your emotions launch out, but there was nothing, what could do this. Your breathing mixed together as he started to thrust in and out of you, keeping you as close as possible. The mask he was wearing was bright, but you were able to see through it every night.
Some already faded memories made their way to your mind, standing in front of your eyes, bringing back tears. You saw two people, a girl and a boy, young, happy, in love. They were sitting at the swings talking about insignificant topics. The view of them holding hands and laughing together made your heart break even more. They looked so cheerful, expecting to spend the life together.
Their names were ______ and Jimin. They never predicted to end up blank, addicted to themselves, unable to love anymore.
'How can I forget when you're still so clear in my eyes?' you asked yourself, looking at the sinking sun. You recalled the happy days, during which, you didn't know two people can end up tragically.
You squint your eyes from being asleep, you get up and once again, you sigh. The phone rings, breaking the silence.It doesn't stop ringing all night.
Why do you try to shake me up again?
