Fading

~O n e~

First Chapter!!

Amara POV
I looked around for them, but as always, they were never there when I wanted them to be. I guess I should just stop expecting anything, it hurts a lot less.

"I'm sorry Mar, but you know we're always here for you" my teammate and best friend Addy says sympathetically.

Her full name was Addy James but because we have been best friends for a few years now, she goes by AJ and I go by Mar, short for Amara.

She was talking about how my parents didn't show up for my last softball game, which is nothing new, but somehow still a surprise to me. I wanted to believe that they just forgot or there was something urgent they had to attend to but I knew that wasn't the case.

"I know AJ, thanks" I reply, a sad smile on my face.

She looked at me concerned before continuing to warm up for our game in ten minutes.

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We won, 10-7 in the last inning, AJ hitting the winning home run for us. We all ran out onto the field, showering her in shouts, cheers, and slaps on the back.

Once we finally settled down and shook the hands of the other team, we all ran back to the dugout to pack up our stuff.

"Hey Amara, can you stay for a few minutes longer? I would like to talk to you" my coach shouted.

"Yeah sure, let me just pack up my stuff and then I can talk" I replied, a hint of worry in my voice.

I mean, I didn't play amazing but I didn't do horrible either so I have no idea why she would want to talk to me. Maybe she wants to congratulate me?

After packing up and telling my team goodbye, I walked over to where my coach was waiting by the fence.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes I did. I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you and how exceptional you have been doing over the past few months. I know you don't have a lot of support from your family but you have really improved this year and I look forward to seeing what you can do next year" she praised, a gentle smile on her face.

"Oh wow, umm thank you so much coach, that means a lot to me" I told her, beaming at her praise.

"You're welcome sweetie, you deserve it. Now go home and get some rest!"

I smiled. "Will do."

Seeing her in a good mood was rare, she usually had no problem commanding us around like little soldiers.

Walking to the parking lot I sighed, realizing I would have to walk home, which would take at least a half an hour. I know what you're thinking, I'm a Senior, I should have a car and be driving, but instead, my parents didn't think I deserved one, and I can't afford one myself. My brother, who is two years older than me at 19, and my sister, who is two years younger than me at 15, both have cars. Pretty expensive ones I might add. But I guess I wasn't important enough for one.
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Dragging my feet under me, I heaved myself up the steps to our front door. I opened it, suddenly being met with warm air in comparison to the cold wind outside.

"I'm home!" I yelled out, not that anyone cared.

"Oh hi honey, where were you?" My mother questioned, utterly confused.

I felt a twinge of pain in my chest.

"My last softball game, mom, you know the one that you and dad were supposed to come to?" I answered, exasperated.

"Sorry, we were all busy. We got talking to your brother about college and completely forgot...I would like to keep chatting but I have to go talk to your sister, she is having trouble with an outfit for school. I'll talk later okay?" She said, giving me a fake smile and walking off before I could even nod.

Realizing it was already nine o' clock, I trudged up the stairs to my cramped room, dumping everything on the ground. I took my jersey off, hopping in the warm shower, sighing in relief. But relief didn't last long as my stomach growled in protest at the lack of food.

You don't need it. I had started to get careless with my eating and that had to change. I definitely wasn't one of the skinny girls like my sister, but if I lost some weight and dressed up a little more, maybe my family would care about me.

As more and more harmful thoughts entered my head, my nails pressed down into my skin, where my old scars were. It was a therapeutic way for me to get my thoughts out, instead of keeping them in. The pain brought be back to reality in ways that nothing else could.

I dry off and jump in bed, wanting sleep to take over so I would stop overthinking everything. The anxiety clawed at my head, making me toss and turn, unable to get comfortable.

I couldn't wait until I was 18, it promised me freedom from the hell I was living in.

If you liked please let me know! I know it starts off very dark and depressing but it is a story of growth so it has to. Please stick around for chapter 2!