~Time skip - 3 months~
It had been 3 months since Yoongi had exposed himself to Bts, and the group were closer than ever. Yoongi was slowly becoming more comfortable around them, relaxing more.
He would never be the same fluff ball he was years prior, he'd been scarred to much for that, physically and mentaly a like.
But Yoongi found he wasn't happy, he was no happier now than he was before, and it confused him. But then again he didn't question it.
He was tired, tired of everything, people, life, himself. He was just tired. He wanted to sleep, forever.
He'd only been friends properly with Bts for 3 months, and he wasn't ready to say goodbye again. He knew he wasn't. But then again he couldn't carry this on anymore.
Pretending to be happy, content, joyful. He couldn't fake it anymore. It was all too tiring.
Somehow, he'd managed to write enough songs to make 4 albums, and he planned to release them all on the same night, the night he would finally say goodbye.
He wasn't telling Big Hit what he was planning, well the albums. He hadn't told them, he knew they's say no, and that's not the response he wanted. So it looked to him like he'd do it himself.
He'd managed to hack into their Youtube channel, and it would easy to upload all the songs onto their channel. And it's not like Big Hit could scold him, get anygry at him. The worse they could do was yell at his corspe in a coffin in the ground. And that wouldn't do much now would it.
Yoongi sighed as he put for the videos to go live in exactly 1 hour. Giving him around 50 minutes to do what he wanted- he wanted to make sure that there was no way he could be saved. He just wasn't fit for this world and he knew it.
Yoongi left his studio for the last time, glancing around at the room he'd grown to love. He spotted the note on his desk, leaving one wish. A carboard coffin.
He was going to miss the room, the room where he'd spent so many hours pouring his soul out onto a peice of paper. The room where he'd shed so much blood, sweat and tears. The room where he's spent hours just thinking, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. He sighed as he locked the door, dropping the key on the mat, the mat he loved oh so much.
He'd miss the world and his friends, but he wouldn't miss them enough to change his mind on this.
He was wasting time and he knew it, he didn't want to stall so he hurried home.
Immediately he rushed to his bedroom, pulling off his clothes.
Replacing them with his favourite black jumper, it was fluffy on the inside, perfect for if you want to cuddle up with yourslef, wow lonely right.
Sighing, he pulled his cosy grey sweatpants on, heading into the bathroom. Oh had that bathroom seen so much.
He held onto the sink, staring down at the drain. He turned the tap on, watching the water dissapear down the drain. Smiling slightly as he turned the tap off, knowing he'd be dissapearing in a bit aswell.
Yoongi kept his firm grip on the sink, lifting his head to see the pitiful sight he was met with in the mirror.
He was a mess, his blonde hair was greasy and messy. Large under eye bags had settled down on his face, his eyes were dull and boring, locking the shine and sparkle they once contained 24/7.
Yoongi pulled his eyes away from the mirror, turning his attention to the bath. Turning the tap on, he watched as the water filled the bath, the water that was soon to be pink with his blood.
Pulling the familiar grey blade out of it's cabinet, he turned it over in his fingers, scratching the small amounts of dry blood off it. He sighed as he turned the tap off, climbing into the bath. Sighing as the burning water clashed with his freezing skin. He liked the burn.
He pulled the sleeve of his jumper up, revealing his tattoo'd arms. His fingers trailed the tattoos, he'd always loved them, they meaned so much to him. The dragon fly on his ring finger facing away from him, representing him chasing happiness, except it would always flew out of grasp.
Sighing, Yoongi grabbed his phone- he only had 30 minutes now/
He sat there for a moments longer, thanking everyone, Got7, BamBam, Bts, his mother, even his father. His father had taught him so much, he'd never realised it before, but sitting there, about to welcome death with open arms, it made him realise, he really had been taught alot from th eman he disliked so much.
Yoongi held the blade against his left forearms. He slid it against his arm vertically (He wanted to punish himself before saying goodbye)
1- for dissapointing your father
1- for dissapointing your friends
1- for being a failure
1- for being a mistake
1- for not being enough
1- for not working hard enough
1- for pushing every you care about away
1- for upsetting your friends
He did this for both arms, watching as the water turned pink and orange, watching as his tattoo's got covered in blood. He could feel himself slipping in and out of consiousness (?) But this wouldn't kill him.
He took a gulp as he held the blade his his left forearm, ready to cut horizontal.
He took a deep breath as he slid it across his left forearm, gasping as the blood came gushing out. With shaky hands he cut his right forearms aswell.
They were for being him
Yoongi slid further down in the bath, face barely above the pinkish water overflowing onto the tiles.
A smile spread over his face as he felt himself slipping away from reality, away from all the pain he'd felt, away from the people who'd scarred him over the years. Away from the people he loved, he'd miss them.
And just like that, he felt the darkness take over. No more faking.
Min Yoongi, truly was, dead.
