It was a couple weeks after he'd had the argument with Bts, they'd talked a couple times since, a couple times just saying hi or sometimes a longer conversation, asking whats been happening, Yoongi's album and Bts' new music.
They hadn't had a proper fight since but that didn't mean they didn't bicker, often about why Yoongi is the way he is.
He knew what caused it, but he didn't know why it caused him to change, he understands that it would've changed him a bit, but why had he changed so much? Having a shit life isn't an excuse to be a shit person.
He knows he isn't a complete shit person, but he's not as nice as he could be, he knew that. He just didn't understand why.
Why he found he couldn't easily be nice, why he couldn't change his ways, why he'd been changed by his past so much, he just didn't know why. And Bts just didn't understand that.
They would just keep asking him why, yet he doesn't know why, and he tells them that all the time.
They just dont get it, and it irriates him so god damn much.
Yoongi, as most days, was sat in his studio. He had all the lyrics of all the songs he wanted on his Album, which is alot btw, he just needed music.
Lyrics had come to him unsteadily. He wouldn't write any for ages, then he'd get a steady flow of lyrics, then he'd get none for a couple of days, then lots in just 2 or 3 days, then none for a week, then a steady sow pace for a week or 2.
It irriated him, that lyrics came so unevenly to him, but none the less, he got the lyrics in the end, and at the end of the day, thats all that mattered really.
He hadn't seen any sign of his father since that night at the convinece store, and instead of that comforting him, it worried him, his anxiety increasing ever since then.
He couldn't shake the thought that his father was planning something big, or he was leading Yoongi into a false sense of security before popping out of nowhere.
Well whatever it is Yoongi doesn't like it, he's too nervous to go outside causing him to have to rush from place to place, he was scared in his own home, he was just scared. His anxiety was so much worse because of him, and he hated him so much for him.
Well he says this, but deep down he knows he doesn't really hate his father, he's his father, he knows he has all the right to hate him, hell he should hate him, yet he doesn't. He cant bring himself too. He really wants to, he really really wants to hate his father for everything he's done to him, but he just cant and he hates himself even more for that.
Yoongi sighed as he began work on his music once more, prepared for a long night ahead of him.
~~~~~~~~~~
(Unedited)
Thx so much for 3k!
~Catherine
