It was 3am the day after his debut, he had an interview at 4pm, he knew he should try go to sleep, and he honeslty did try, he just couldn't, so he made his way to his studio, so thats how Yoongi found himself sighing as he rubbed his temples, sitting desk doing nothing, nothing at all. He had wanted to work on a new song but nothing was coming to mind, he just couldn't think of any good lyrics, beats, melodies. Nothing. He couldn't tell what was stopping his flow of creativity, was it the fact that Bts knew who he was? That they might be coming to talk to him at any moment? The fear that people wont like him, depsite all the positive feedback? He really didn't know, he just wanted something, anything, just something to happen to remove the blocker stopping anything from coming, part of him wanted Bts to come talk to him but the other didn't, one half never wanted to talk to them, one half did, wanted to explain, everything, but he couldn't explain, not like they'd believe him anyway.
They were the type of people who asked how your day was without actually wanting to know, they wanted to hear what they wanted to hear, not what the person was feeling, they just wanted to hear an 'Im okay' so they can just move on with their day without a care in the world. That annoyed Yoongi, it really did, he didn't understand why they tried to ignore the bad things in the world, blocking it out like it wasn't there, when it was, eveywhere, they just refused to admit it, face it, they wanted it to be fine, but it wasn't, and they seemed to think that ignoring it will make it go away, but it doen't work like that. Yoongi knew that, it didn't work like that.Not at all, and they didn't understand that. It doesn't go away by ignoring it, it only goes away when you make an effort to make it go away, it wont just disaapear, you have to do something, they dont do anything. They wouldn't belive him if he told them, he knew that, they wouldn't believe him for that reason- they pretend like the world was fine, okay, that everyone was happy and everyone loved eachother, they pretend everything is always okay, so they wouldn't believe him, so he couldn't tell them, why should he?
That day before last, the day he met up with Namjoon, he didn't even try hide the fact he knew him before. He called him his old nickname, used the same slang, sarcastic remarks he was known for in highschool, he even expressed having the same intrests he had before, but Namjoon was so fucking blind he didn't notice any of his attempts, he shurgged it all off, like he didn't want it to be Yoongi, didn't want to be in the same room as him, didn't want it to be him because he didn't want to face Yoongi. Who could blame him though? Yoongi did just dissapear out of nowhere in high school without a word, wthout a trace, not even a goodbye, nothing, he was there one second then gone the next, in a blink of an eye.
Yoongi sighed as he span in his chair, waiting for something, anything, just something to happen, something to come to him, something to distract him, just SOMETHING. Thats all he wanted, something to happen, he was bored, tired, sick of the silence, he usually loved the silence but at that moment he wanted noise, a distraction. He stood up, grabbing his whitewashed denim jacket, throwing it on, pulling his mask over his face and pulling his cap over his head. Leaving his studio without a glance back, storming out the building without a seconds heistitaion, walking out into the suprisingly busy streets of Seoul.
The noise of cars passing by, the occasionly group of people spotted, the sound of animals and the wind, it was noise, something he wanted, noise, it definately distracted him alright, took his thoughts of things. He sighed as he breathed in the cold air, letting it fill his lungs. He walked and walked, going who knows where, he just walked, letting his mind wander, letting his arms fall limp by his side, letting his breathing relax, ears just drining in the noise, eyes just taking in the view, thinking of nothing and everything at the same time.
Somehow he ended up at his apartment complex, he didn't question how, he just entered, kicking his shoes off and hanging his jacket up. Moving towards the kitchen to make himself some breakfast as it was now 7am. He sat down in silence, putting his earphone in and listening to music while eating.
He sighed as he finished his food, deiciding to have a shower because he stunk from the debut stage a couple hours ago.
He groaned as the hot water hit is skin like jets, quickly adjusting to the temperature, Yoongi washed his hair and washed, letting his mind wander as usual, something he'd been doing often recently. He shivered as the cold air hit his skin as he stepped out the shower, quickly grabbing a towel, wrapping it around him quickly. He sighed as he rubbed his hair dry, styling it messily. He changed into plain black jeans, ending above his ankle, and a black band tee.
He sighed as stepped out the bathroom, throwing his clothes into the washing machine before stepping into his bedroom. He chucked himself on his bed. staring at the ceiling. How long he lay there he doesn't know, nor does he care. But he just lay there, thinking and thinking, he doesn't think he's ever just thought so much in just a day, he never usually just takes time to think and only think.
He thought about everything, dumb shit and deep shit, thinking about his life, his regrets, his happy memories, he thought about dumb shit like different senerios. He laughed at what he though, sometimes he made his eyes water, sometimes he cringed at himself, sometimes it set him into deep thought. He sighed as he prized himself up from his bed.
Making his way into his living room, he checked his phone, it was now 9:42. He threw himself onto his couch, grabbing the controller and switching netflix on. He flicked through the shows for a while before deciding on one. (Insert any netflix show you want)
After binge watching a bunch of episodes of said show, he checked the time, 2:40, he sighed as he entered the kitchen, wipping up some lunch (Insert any lunch you want)
He groaned as he realised where he'd be heading soon, an interiew with Bts, out of all people it was Bts, his old bestfriends. He prayed they wouldn't try talk to him, he was not in the mood.
He sighed as he pulled on his vans and green bomber jacket before exiting his apartment and locking the door not that he had any things he would miss if someone broke in and robbed him. He climbed into his jeep, slamming the door shut and driving of towards the interview place(?)
As he pulled up to the building, he pulled his mask on before taking a deep breath, opening the door and climbing out, ready to face talking in front of maybe millions of people, and facing his old best friends.
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Thank you so much for 360+ reads!
~Catherine
