Try-State Area

- Thursday, June 9th - Childcare and Self Care

During the whole school day Emily felt like she needed to play catch-up for the work she missed the day before. She hated the slightly frantic feeling it gave her, but it kept her so occupied that she didn't even notice Evan hadn't texted that morning. But once she got out of school and realized that he neglected to reach out, a new emotion overtook her - worry.

He's probably just busy...

She rationalized silently to herself and tried to focus on her reading. But her mind strayed from the page in front of her eyes. She looked out of the window as the bus drove over the bridge.

I basically hung up on him last night... Maybe he's offended...

Emily turned her phone over and over again in her hand and contemplated whether she should text him or call him. She watched the water two hundred and twenty-eight feet beneath her.

Maybe Evan isn't going to talk to me again...

It felt as though her stomach dropped down to the ocean below and slammed into it like concrete.

Then she made up her mind to scroll through her music to try to figure out what song to send him. The search for the perfect song began as she got off the bus and continued while walked the ten blocks to the elementary school.

While she waited by the side doors of the building, she listened to Audio Bullys "Get Myself on Track" and thought about sending it to Evan. Reading the lyrics helped her avoid eye contact or chit-chat with the assembled parents and grandparents that waited for the other eight-year-olds.

Soon, Janine emerged from Girl Scouts waving a yarn potholder and calling out, "Look what I made today!"

Emily put away her phone to give her young charge attention. "Wow, look at those colors! I bet your Mom is going to love it!"

"I made this one for you. I have another one in my bag for my Mom." Janine skipped alongside Emily.

"I'm honored. I'll use it the next time I cook."

The tiny girl put her hand into Emily's as they crossed the street. She let Janine's childish chatter silence the self-doubts that had been a monotonous drone in her head for the past hour.

~~~

"You gave me too much money." Emily held out one of the $20 bills.

Mrs. Flynn shook her head. "No please take it Emily. I know you have to leave early for your doctor's appointment, but consider it as thanks for all of the extra minutes here and there that I haven't paid you for over the course of the year."

I didn't like scheduling my therapy on a Thursday this week... But checking in with Dr. Guevarra is very important for me... Especially with everything that happened the past two weeks...

"Okay. Thanks." Emily pocketed the bills. The extra cash made her feel less guilty about spending money on the car service that waited on the curb for her.

~~~

"So have you told either of your parents about the camp program yet?" Dr. Guevarra didn't waste time delving directly into her problems.

Emily shifted on the leather couch to peel one of her sticky legs up with a sound like ripping paper. "Ummmm no. But I did tell my Pop."

The doctor looked at Emily with a mild expression on her face. "Well that's progress." She looked back down at her notes. I see the deadline is approaching. I'm sure you need to get paperwork signed as well as send in a deposit of some sort."

Emily nodded and Dr. Guevarra continued, "So if you really want to go to this camp then I suggest you broach the subject with your parents. But I wonder if you're stalling on this because maybe you don't feel ready to go away? It would be natural under the circumstances for you to be nervous. Maybe we should investigate that a bit more?"